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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29450166">I Don't Believe You.  Not Anymore.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenismyfav/pseuds/Greenismyfav'>Greenismyfav</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Betrayal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Loss of Trust</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:42:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,714</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29450166</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenismyfav/pseuds/Greenismyfav</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lance trusted them once, but not anymore.  Misunderstandings lead to brutal honesty.  Can the team fix things or form Voltron any longer?  No one is quite sure.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. What In the Quiznak Are You Wearing?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>               Hunk, Pidge, and Keith jumped in surprise as Lance slammed angrily into the common room where they had been relaxing, having not had to go on the current mission.  Then they blinked at what they were seeing.</p><p>               “What the <em>quiznak</em> are you <em>wearing</em>?” Pidge gasped as the other two stared at the blue paladin in shock.</p><p>               “Leave me alone, Pidge,” Lance hissed, shrinking in on himself as the three stared at him, “Stop <em>looking</em> at me like that!”</p><p>                Lance crossed his arms and blushed hotly.  He was not in armor like he’d been wearing when he left on the diplomatic mission with Shiro and Allura.  Rather, he was in an off the shoulder, black dress-like outfit that split up one side and showed way too much long leg up to nearly his hip bone.  Black ribbons criss-crossed that one leg and ended in what appeared to be a flat sandal-like shoe.  It would be assumed he was wearing a pair.</p><p>               “Buddy, what’s wrong?  Why are you in something…uh...like this?” Hunk tried as Lance looked away angrily right as Shiro and the two, resident Alteans ran into the room.</p><p>               “Lance, I know you are upset, but we need to talk about this,” Shiro snapped as eyes turned towards the black paladin.</p><p>               “I have nothing to say to <em>you</em> or that princess of <em>nothing</em>,” Lance bit out with uncharacteristic venom as Allura drew up sharply.</p><p>               “I <em>beg</em> your pardon!”</p><p>               “You, shut up!” Lance growled at the startled princess, “You have <em>no</em> right to even speak to me you…you <em>slave trader</em>!”</p><p>               “Now see <em>here</em>!” Coran bit out, getting defensive, “I’m unsure of what exactly is going on here, but you will never speak to the princess…”</p><p>               “Of <em>nothing</em>!” Lance interrupted with a roar, startling the room at large as he talked over the advisor, “The princess of five lions and a ship and nothing more!  Not the princess of <em>me</em> and even if that creature was, I owe her no allegiance for what she <em>did</em>!”</p><p>               “Let’s calm down,” Hunk entreated, standing to walk between the fight, “I, for one, would like to know what exactly happened, Buddy.  What did Allura do?  You don’t usually yell at ladies.”</p><p>               “That’s no lady,” Lance announced, turning his back on everyone while Allura looked hurt, “No lady at all.”</p><p>               “Lance, stop this and calm down,” Shiro ordered as Lance spun back around.</p><p>               “You are no leader of mine <em>either</em>,” Lance spit with such venom that Shiro took a step backwards while Lance pointed an angry finger at him, “<em>You</em> helped her.  I don’t take orders from the Leader of Lies.”</p><p>               “Don’t talk to Shiro that way!” Keith instantly defended as Shiro shook his head at the red paladin.</p><p>               “Shut up, Mullet!” Lance countered, continuing to stare at Shiro with such rage that the room seemed cold and froze Keith in place while the rest looked on in shocked stillness, “You’d <em>never</em> do that to Keith, would you?  You wouldn’t have backed the puta up if she’d tried this with Keith, right?  Because you pick and choose who is deserving of any respect around here.  Deserving of being treated like a person with feelings, rights, or protection.  Is that why so many people on the mission to Kerberos <em>died</em>, Shiro?  Because they weren’t <em>worthy</em> enough in your eyes to protect?”</p><p>               “Lance!” Pidge whispered in horror as Shiro gasped loud, looking both hurt and devastated.</p><p>               “You can take that puta and your team and shove it up that tight, demoralizing, judgmental ass of yours, Shiro,” Lance pronounced with chilling, blue eyes shining in fury, “I am done with this shit and your so-called team of paladins.  I will no longer be silent and take this team’s abuse and that woman’s personal war that makes sacrifices of other’s lives okay in her eyes.”</p><p>               “Lance, wait,” Allura tried, “I know you are angry, but it was necessary…”</p><p>               “You are just like the <em>Galra</em>.”</p><p>               The words froze everyone in the room once again as Lance continued to glare at the princess after having interrupted her.</p><p>               “You would fight the Galra by any means possible to have revenge for the loss of your father, planet, and people,” Lance continued, looking directly at Allura, “Even at the sacrifice of <em>my</em> life.  You care for no one, but your personal vendetta.”</p><p>               “What the hell is going on here??!!” thundered Keith as everyone snapped to attention to stare at the red paladin, “What do you mean the <em>sacrifice</em> of your life, Lance?!  Why the hell are you wearing…<em>that</em>?!  What the fuck <em>happened</em> on that mission?!”</p><p>               “I’d like to know that too,” Coran huffed, looking between Allura and Shiro who looked away uncomfortably, “While Lance is a man of passion, he rarely grows angry like this and if I’m not mistaken that is a Herwin’s nazveil outfit that he wears.”</p><p>               “What the quiznak is a nazveil outfit?” Keith voiced, turning to Coran as Lance blushed hard.</p><p>               “It’s…um…it’s a Herwin concubine’s wedding attire when they are to be bonded to their master,” Coran stated with a flush as jaws dropped open around the room.</p><p>               “Bonded to their…<em>what</em>?” Hunk choked as Keith’s and Pidge’s eyes widened, “Oh, no.  Oh, no, no, no…what the <em>fuck</em>!  Lance, you were…those clothes…you’d <em>never</em> wear that! This wasn’t by <em>choice</em> was it?”</p><p>               “No,” Lance whispered, looking away in embarrassment as Keith snatched up a blanket to drape over the teen’s shoulders to cover him as much as possible, “Thank you.”</p><p>               “Shower,” Keith barked as the team stared at him, “Lance, go shower and change out of…that <em>thing</em> and then we are all going to sit down and discuss what the <em>fuck</em> is going on here.”</p><p>               “Keith, this is private…,” Shiro began before Pidge stepped up into the conversation.</p><p>               “Nope, nope,” Pidge denied angrily, “This involves the team and our leaders.  I want the whole story because Lance would never abandon this team without a reason.  Lance, please shower and change.  We will wait here for you and nothing will be discussed until you return, okay?  Please?” </p><p>               Lance appeared to hedge for a moment before straightening his shoulders and nodding.  With one last glare at Shiro and Allura, he pulled the blanket around himself tighter before stomping out of the room.</p><p>               “There had best be one hell of a good explanation for this,” Hunk growled in a rare display of anger, “One hell of a good explanation indeed, Shiro!  And you too, Allura!”</p><p>               “’Take this team’s abuse?’” Keith quoted, turning from the door Lance left through to stare at Allura and Shiro, “Lance said you wouldn’t have done something to me that was done to him, Shiro.  I am confused…this was a peace mission.”</p><p>               “He also called Princess Allura a ‘slave trader,’” Hunk pointed out, crossing his arms angrily, “I’m going to check on Lance.  I can’t be here right now.  If this is going where I think it might be, this team will lose two paladins because I refuse to be a part of a team like this.”</p><p>               “Hunk,” Shiro entreated, looking at him in surprise.</p><p>               “I decide after I hear the <em>full</em> story,” Hunk spat, exiting the room.  </p><p>               “I’m sorry, Shiro,” Keith surprised the rest when he spoke up, “The same goes for me.”</p><p>               Keith left with hurried steps as Shiro sank into a chair.</p><p>               “This was one botched mission,” Shiro groaned as his head fell into his hands.</p><p>               “I agree,” Allura sighed, sinking down on one of the couches while Pidge and Coran glanced at one another in question.</p><p>               “Looking forward to hearing about it,” Pidge hummed, narrowing her eyes as Allura and Shiro flushed, “Especially after hearing Lance say you were ‘demoralizing,’ Shiro.”</p><p>               “And that word means what?” Coran asked as Pidge began to explain the definition while Allura and Shiro looked uncomfortably at one another once again.</p><p>WWW</p><p>               “Let me help you.”</p><p>               Keith slowed at hearing Hunk’s voice.  He peeked into the open door of Lance’s room, watching as Lance hugged the blanket around himself tighter and edge away from his best friend.</p><p>               “I saw the corset ties on the back of that outfit,” Hunk pushed, “You can’t reach them.  Let me help you.”</p><p>               “I…I’m fine,” Lance denied, looking away uncomfortably.</p><p>               “Let me cut them,” Keith spoke up as Lance and Hunk startled at his voice, “I saw the ties too, Lance.  Whoever tied those made sure the stays would hurt.  They are tied too tight.”</p><p>               “Are you in pain?” Hunk demanded, striding forward to pull at the blanket before stopping himself and placing his hands up in surrender, “Sorry, Lance.  Not trying to take your choices away.  I’m worried.”</p><p>               Lance glanced to his friend and then over to Keith before nodding and dropping the blanket.</p><p>               “They do hurt,” Lance admitted, turning his back, “Please cut them, Keith.”</p><p>               Keith strode forward while pulling his knife from his jacket while examining the ties while Hunk came over to help.</p><p>               “Damn, whoever tied these made sure to bite into skin,” Hunk grumbled, reaching for the ties, “Hold your breath, Lance.  I’m going to pull one tighter so that Keith can get his blade inserted under.  Only be for a second, okay?  On three.  One, two, and three.”</p><p>               Hunk pulled firmly on a tie as Keith snapped it with his knife before working with Hunk to cut the rest away as more and more loosened with each snap of the ribbons.</p><p>               “Better?” Keith asked as Lance breathed in deeply.</p><p>               “Much,” Lance agreed holding up the bodice of the outfit, “Um…I need to take this off and you two…need to leave.”</p><p>               “Sure,” Hunk consented, “We’ll wait for you in the common room, Lance.  We’re here for you.  I’m here for you.”</p><p>               Lance hummed softly, looking down and not answering as Hunk frowned.</p><p>               “And when you’re ready, tell us everything,” Keith pushed as Lance looked at him in surprise, “Everything, Lance.  We’ll listen.”</p><p>               Lance seemed to be studying Keith before looking back at Hunk and nodding then entering his bathing chambers.</p><p>               “Dammit,” Hunk growled, making sure Lance’s chamber doors were closed as he and Keith left, “He’s shaken to his core.”</p><p>               “Lance said that?” Keith asked as Hunk shook his head.</p><p>               “No, but I know Lance well,” Hunk murmured, looking down sadly, “I’ve been so busy, I’ve kind of not been a good friend lately.  Something happened on that mission that scared Lance and he’s trying to run away.  He’d usually come to me if he was scared, but I couldn’t get him to talk to me before you came.  Something’s majorly wrong here.”</p><p>               “Then we’ll have to help him share it,” Keith offered as Hunk looked to him, “I’m awful at talking.  Not a real surprise there.  I’m not good with words and hold things in too, but Lance is a part of this team and we need to know why he wants to leave.  Lance is loyal.”</p><p>               “He is,” Hunk agreed, glancing angrily towards the common room, “I want the whole story.  All of it.”</p><p>               “I do too,” Keith soothed, “You go glare at Shiro and Allura.  I’ll wait for Lance so he doesn’t run.  He at least responded to me back there.  Even I know that we need to address this gently.”</p><p>               “Okay,” Hunk sighed out, “Just be careful with Lance.  He’s fragile right now.”</p><p>               Keith nodded as Hunk walked off before crossing his arms and leaning against the wall to wait for Lance.  The blue paladin could be annoying at times and often started little spats with him, but never backed down from a challenge or faltered on a mission.</p><p>               “Why now?” Keith thought to himself as he waited, “What did he mean by ‘abuse from this team?’”</p><p>               Keith wracked his brain, but had to admit that he was at a loss.  The red paladin trained more than hung out with the others so he was not sure what Lance meant by abuse.  Had something happened and Keith had not been aware of it?  Possible.  Things happened in foster care that people turned a blind eye to or simply missed quite often when he was small.</p><p>               “Did I allow that to happen on my watch?”</p><p>               The red paladin shuddered to think that he’d missed something.  Or rather, added to something hurting a teammate.  He was no callous person despite his lack of social skills at times.  So, he thought and thought until he got lost in his own head.  Lance exiting his room with wet hair made Keith jump a bit.</p><p>               “Sorry,” Keith apologized before frowning, “You’re shivering.”</p><p>               “It’s cold,” Lance mumbled, pulling his jacket tight around himself since he changed into his usual favored outfit.</p><p>               Keith bit his lower lip before pushing gently past Lance and grabbing the blanket from the floor to drape back over the teen’s shoulders.</p><p>               “That’ll help,” Keith voiced, backing off to give Lance his space.</p><p>               Lance glanced to him before pulling the blanket around himself more.</p><p>               “Thank you.”</p><p>               No fight.  No sarcasm.  Just quiet acceptance as Lance led the way to the common room.  The blue paladin looked so defeated.  Keith didn’t like it, but he remained quiet so he wouldn’t spook the silent teen.  Lance stiffened when he entered the common room and glared towards where most of the team sat waiting.</p><p>               “I saved you your favorite spot,” Hunk tried, patting the space beside him before sighing softly as Lance grabbed a nearby chair and settled away from everyone else, “Whatever makes you comfortable, Lance.”</p><p>               “<em>Now</em> that matters?” Lance grumbled under his breath, but most heard as Keith went and took the seat beside Hunk.</p><p>               “Lance, I think Allura and I owe you an apology,” Shiro began as the teen glared at him, “Look, I…”</p><p>               “No,” Lance interrupted, “Not this time.  I will not have this swept under the rug with a simple apology like what happens all the damn time, Shiro.  I don’t accept your apology.  I’m just here to set some records straight and then I’m leaving this damn ship and never looking back again.”</p><p>               “Now, let’s wait on that,” Coran urged, “It does feel like you have a right to be upset, Lance, but please let’s get ‘the records straight’ so we can understand why you feel you need to leave.  You tell us how you want to proceed.  Should we start with the latest mission?”</p><p>               “Sure,” Lance sniffed, crossing his arms as he looked away, “I’m not upset at you, Coran.  You’re better than the whole lot of them.”</p><p>               “Thank you, Number 3,” Coran beamed out as the rest of the team shifted uncomfortably, “I feel very close to you too and want to know what has upset you so.”</p><p>               “Me too,” Pidge pushed, making Lance glance at her briefly, “You three were going to trade for supplies and sign the agreement for the Herwin to join the coalition.  How did that end with…this?”</p><p>               Lance snorted in derision as he glared towards Shiro and Allura.</p><p>               “We went.  The planet of Herwi is quite lovely.  Rich crops.  Beautiful people,” Lance narrated, looking at the rest of the team, “Trading for the supplies was easy.  The Herwin seemed friendly and inviting.  Eager to make a stand against the Galra.”</p><p>               “They have much political sway among other planets,” Allura offered as Lance rolled his eyes, “Herwi would be a great ally for Team Voltron with their resources.”</p><p>               “Resources,” Lance scoffed, looking at the princess angrily, “Why don’t you tell them at what fucking <em>cost</em> the Herwin wanted for those resources, <em>Princess</em>?”</p><p>               “Wait.  That was a misunderstanding,” Shiro blurted as the rest of the team looked in confusion at him, “Allura, tell them.  Tell Lance that this was all a mistake.”</p><p>               The princess flushed as Shiro narrowed his eyes.</p><p>               “It was no mistake,” Lance snorted, laughing with no humor, “Not on the puta’s part.”</p><p>               “Okay, still confused,” Hunk spoke up, “Lance, please tell us what happened.  What was no mistake?  You’d never use that word to refer to Allura without good reason.”</p><p>               Lance grumbled to himself as he looked away once again and would not meet anyone’s eyes.  It was then that Keith noticed Lance’s wrists.  Or more likely, bruising around the wrists that look a bit like cuff marks.  Marks he’d seen on others when Voltron had freed them from slavers.</p><p>               “Did you fucking <em>trade</em> Lance for those resources and political influences?!” Keith bit out, standing angrily as puzzle pieces fell into place for him while he scowled at Allura and Shiro, “What the fuck did you two do?!”</p><p>               “<em>What</em>?!” Hunk and Pidge gasped out as everyone began speaking atop the rest before a banging rang out as Coran called the room back into order by pounding his fist on a table.</p><p>               “Lance, please explain,” Coran ordered as the blue paladin remained silent as he had through the whole din, “What happened?”</p><p>               “Allura and Shiro signed the coalition agreement during a banquet,” Lance growled, “The leader of Herwi agreed to all terms of the coalition and only asked for one acquisition…me.”</p><p>               “That was a mistake,” Shiro explained, looking desperately at Allura while the rest of the team paled, “It was a miscommunication in the wording.  I would never allow one of my paladins to be traded off like cattle.”</p><p>               “Of course not, though I’m not quite sure what cattle are, but not at all,” Allura took up the sentiment, looking to Lance, “It was only meant to be short-termed and not what it became.”</p><p>               “Wait,” Shiro said, looking sharply at the princess, “What do you mean ‘short-termed,’ Allura?  You said this was all a mistake.”</p><p>               “Puta lied,” Lance huffed, “King Nazgin showed me the agreement.  His planet’s cooperation for the blue paladin’s deference.”</p><p>               “Deference for what, Allura?  So, Lance was supposed to be his guard…or something?” Keith asked as Hunk’s eyes narrowed dangerously.</p><p>               “Not in those clothes and not after Coran called that outfit a concubine’s clothes,” Hunk spat looking at Allura and Shiro angrily, “You sold Lance into the sex trade, didn’t you?”</p><p>               “I didn’t know that’s what it was!”</p><p>               “Princess Allura!” Coran reprimanded, paling further, “How <em>could</em> you?”</p><p>               “I-I didn’t think that was what King Nazgin meant,” Allura admitted, looking desperately at Lance while Shiro choked beside her as he turned red, “He was taken by your ways, Lance.  He told me you brought joy to the people and he needed someone like you to lift the spirits of the palace.  I thought he meant having you visit and show the team’s respect for his planet from time to time.  I never meant for you to be married off to be his concubine.”</p><p>               “I don’t believe you,” Lance snapped, “You stood there with Shiro as they dragged me away like a piece of property.  Even if you actually though it was that way, you didn’t even <em>ask</em> me for permission to promise my services to another even if it was to be a guard or companion.  I’m not your subject.  You don’t <em>own</em> me!  <em>None</em> of you do!”</p><p>               “Wait,” Pidge ordered, standing beside Keith, “Shiro, you stood there with Allura and allowed Lance to be dragged off?  There is no way Lance went quietly so that had to be some kind of clue that something was wrong.”</p><p>               “It all happened so fast that I was not sure what was happening,” Shiro groaned, wringing his hands together, “Next thing I know, Lance is gone and the king was telling Allura and I that we need to get ready for the celebration.  I demanded to know where Lance was and I was told he was taken to a changing room to get ready too.  I thought it was a part of the Herwins’ traditions.  I never thought it was a quiznaking wedding to enslave Lance to the king.”</p><p>               “Liar.”</p><p>               “I’m <em>not</em> lying,” Shiro denied as Lance snorted again.</p><p>               “Then why were you fussing at me the whole time on this mission?  Why did you tell me to stop being lazy on Herwi?” Lance demanded, “It’s always the same with you, Shiro.  ‘Stop it, Lance.  No flirting, Lance.  Try to work a little harder next time, Lance.’  Blah-blah-blah.  I wasn’t being lazy.  I was the one that got the Herwi to open up to us.  Me, Shiro.  Not you or even the princess.  It was me.  I have more diplomatic skills than you ever give me credit for.”</p><p>               “Look, you were hanging out a lot with the residents and we were on a mission.  I just thought we should be focusing a bit more,” Shiro clarified as Lance growled at him, “The way you go about things are not quite the Garrison way, Lance.”</p><p>               “Like the Garrison got <em>so far</em> with the Galra with their ways.  Helped you out a lot, Mr. Champion,” Lance pointed out, making Shiro flinch, “My ways help people open up to me.  I don’t have to change for you or anyone else.  When I flirt, people see me as harmless.  They open up to me because I’m not a threat.  I know what the fuck I’m doing.  If you would stop showing such favoritism all the time on the team, you might see things, Shiro, but not you.  No, not the Leader of Lies that keeps saying that we’re all a team when we haven’t been a team in ages.”</p><p>               “Stop calling me that!”</p><p>               “I name things as I see them!”</p><p>               “Why are we not a team?” Keith interrupted as everyone looked to him, “What have we done, Lance, that is making you feel this way?”</p><p>               The blue paladin looked at Keith before rolling his eyes and pulling the blanket tight around his shoulders.</p><p>               “Nothing,” Lance laughed, “Nothing at all, but ignored me.  Left me behind.  Partnered up.  It is always Team Punk.  Shiro and Keith, the mighty duo.  Coran and Allura.  Shiro and Allura, our fearless leaders.  I try to pump myself up since I’m always left out and then it’s ‘annoying Lance,’ ‘loudmouthed Lance,’ ‘go annoy someone else, Lance, we don’t need your form of help right now.’  You never listen to me.  Ever.  Even when I’m proven right, no one, but Coran, can admit it.”</p><p>               The very air felt stifling as Lance looked down.</p><p>               “My flaws are always pointed out to me, but no one points out how many times the Mullet has run off on his own and not stuck with the plan,” Lance sniffed, “Or that Pidge can be a crusty nag or that Hunk hesitates too much.  I guess its real easy to have a scapegoat to blame every failing on, right, Shiro?”</p><p>               “Not at all,” Shiro denied as Lance rolled his eyes, “We all have flaws, Lance.”</p><p>               “Do you point that out to them multiple times a day like you do me, Shiro?  Allura?  I’m <em>sick</em> of wasting my breath on people that…I care for when those same people disrespect me on a daily basis,” Lance stated, looking back up, “I am a person too and I’ve not been treated like one in a long time.  I refuse to be the odd man out all the damn time and this team’s whipping boy when I try to lighten the mood.  Then to be sold like the spoiled princess’s property?  I’m done.”</p><p>               “I don’t think of you like that,” Shiro voiced, looking upset, “I care for all my team.”</p><p>               “Liar,” Lance repeated, “’These heroic men and women…<em>and Lance</em>.’”</p><p>               “What?” Shiro gasped as Lance glared at him.</p><p>               “Recognize your own words?” Lance demanded.</p><p> </p><p>To be continued...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I Shouldn't Have Said That.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="MsoNormal">               “I don’t think of you like that,” Shiro voiced, looking upset, “I care for all my team.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “Liar,” Lance repeated, “’These heroic men and women…<em>and Lance</em>.’”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “What?” Shiro gasped as Lance glared at him.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “Recognize your own words?” Lance demanded, standing and dropping the blanket to the floor, “I’ve not ever really been counted as a part of this team by you almost from the start.  I’ve been on the outside looking in from the beginning and <em>I.  Am.  Done.</em>  You have your little brother and ace, you have your princess of nothing, you have the girl genius, you have the <em>best</em> mechanic in the universe, and Coran who none of you can hold a candle to.  Allura can figure out how to be the blue paladin because I’m going home.  I will see myself out.  Thank you.  Goodnight and fuck all of you except for Coran who is still the best of you.  <em>Go to hell</em>.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               Lance glared at the room in general before stalking out the way he came.  The whooshing of the doors closing behind him made everyone blink in surprise.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “Oh, my God,” Hunk wheezed, looking angrily at Shiro and Allura, “What the hell did you two do down there?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “A mistake,” Allura assured, looking desperately at the mechanic, “Look, Shiro and I were dragged in the opposite direction of Lance so we really did think that the behavior was tradition.  It was not until we saw Lance being forced to the altar in that hideous ensemble and cuffs that I realized my mistake.  The truth of my error hit hard.  I recognized the nazveil outfit and Shiro and I intervened immediately.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “How soon after Lance was taken?” Pidge questioned.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “We were separated for no more than a varga,” Allura supplied as the rest of the team cursed softly.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “You have no idea what that king did to him during that time,” Hunk spat, “This was the final straw for Lance.  We failed him as proper teammates and then his leaders did this to him.  I am pissed!  Lance is wild, but he is <em>not</em> lazy, Shiro.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “I know that!” Shiro defended, looking stricken, “I just…I’ve fallen back to my Garrison training and…I’m just making excuses here.  Quiznak.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “’And Lance,’ Shiro,” Keith snapped as all eyes landed on him, “Lance said those were your words.  What was he talking about?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               Shiro dropped his eyes for a moment before sighing deeply with a grimace.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “It was those damn vlogs we all did early on,” Shiro admitted, “I was irritated about doing one and may have misworded some of what I said.  I never thought anyone would actually see that and somehow Lance watched it and obviously internalized my slip of the tongue.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “You mean that you referred to the rest of us as brave and then tacked Lance on at the end?” Hunk gasped as Shiro grimaced again, “I’ll fucking <em>kill</em> you!”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               No one expected Hunk to lunge, but he did and no one expected Coran and Allura to hold the larger man back but they did too.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “Let me go!” Hunk howled, clawing his hands towards a frozen Shiro, “How could you?!  Lance idolizes you and you made him feel like he was expendable!  You fucking sold him into slavery!”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “I would never!” Shiro yelled back, “I trusted Allura!”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “And I made a mistake!” Allura admitted, holding Hunk back as he pushed forward, “I didn’t sell Lance!  At least, I didn’t mean to!”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “Fat lot of good that does us now.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               The room stilled at Pidge’s voice.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “I…I haven’t been all that nice to Lance lately,” Pidge sighed, hugging her arms around herself, “Dismissed him.  Ignored him.  I’ve told him more than once to go away.  I think I remember saying that to him a lot.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “I did the same,” Keith offered, sinking into Lance’s abandoned chair, “I wouldn’t let him join me in training.  He asked and I…just said to go away.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “I kept telling him I’d have time to talk with him later,” Hunk groaned, pulling away from Allura and Coran, “I basically abandoned my best friend.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “I sold him into slavery.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               All eyes turned to Allura as she blushed hot.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “I swore I’d protect this team and watch over the paladins and I sold one of my precious paladins by mistake because I wanted to hurry up and get back which made me miss the obvious,” Allura breathed, looking tearfully at everyone, “Lance is right.  I-I didn’t look carefully at the final draft of the agreement and then made decisions for Lance as if he was something that belonged to me.  I overstepped boundaries and hurt a dear friend of mine.  Even if what happened was not purposeful, it happened and I was too embarrassed to properly apologize when Lance rightfully grew upset after his rescue.  I don’t even know what ‘puta’ means and I think I might deserve that insult.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “Yeah, you do,” Hunk growled before glaring at a glaring Shiro, “Want to ask me what I’m thinking about you right now, Shiro?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “I think I might know and deserve at the moment,” Shiro stated, standing, “Okay.  This happened and I think I’d like to try and talk with Lance.  Apologize for my behavior and failing quite spectacularly as the leader of this team.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “He’d not talk to you right now,” Keith denied, snatching the blanket off the floor and glancing at it, “I suck at talking, but Lance has been responding to me and allowed me to offer him this blanket.  Let me try to return it.  See if I can get him back out here.  Let me try.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “I think that is a splendid idea,” Coran agreed, “The more we can get Lance to talk, the more we might have a chance at making things right again.  Plus, Allura, you are doing more language training starting tomorrow.  This can never be allowed to happen again.  Your lack of focus could possibly have lost us Voltron.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               Keith shook his head and left as Coran continued his rant.  The red paladin went straight to Lance’s chambers and found it empty.  Panicked, Keith thought to himself before hurrying to the blue lion’s hanger.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “I’m sorry, Blue.  I can’t do this anymore.  I love you girl, but it hurts too much to stay here.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               Keith sighed at the forlorn voice before stepping into the hanger as Lance turned to him.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “This is a private conversation, Mullet,” Lance snapped before blinking as Keith held out the blanket to him, “What is it with you and the whole blanket thing?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “You always use this one,” Keith pointed out as Lance looked to him sharply, “You like how it feels.  I watch you rub the material between your fingers.  It’s soft and brings you comfort.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               Lance looked away before reaching over and taking the blanket from Keith and wrapping it around his shoulders.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “You noticed that?” Lance asked, walking to lean against one of Blue’s metal paws.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “Yeah,” Keith agreed, “I…I grew up in the system.  Foster care.  Boys’ homes.  We weren’t allowed to keep blankets or pillows because those belonged to the residences.  We were allowed to keep pillow cases sometimes, but nothing else.  It was hard to lose items that brought comfort over and over again.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “That had to be hard,” Lance whispered as Keith nodded.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “It was,” Keith continued, sitting right where he was standing so as to stretch his legs out and lean on his palms, “A person can only lose so much before they turn bitter, erect walls, and push everyone away.  I’ve been pretty horrible to a lot of people over the years, including you, Lance.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “I’ve not been an angel,” Lance sniffed as Keith smirked for a second.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">               “What happened on the mission shouldn’t have happened,” Keith said as Lance looked away, “What happened on this team shouldn’t have happened either.  I should have seen the signs, Lance.  I get what it feels like to be ignored like you don’t really matter which is why I just learned to handle things on my own with differing results.  I get what it feels like to feel replaceable, expendable.  That has been my life since I lost my dad.  Makes a person feel like there isn’t a place for them.  None of us feel that way about you, Lance.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">              “Shiro thinks that way,” Lance rebuffed.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">              “No, he doesn’t,” Keith denied as Lance snorted with no mirth, “Shiro just handled things really wrong.  We all did, Lance.  This team needs you.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">              “Maybe I don’t want this team,” Lance responded, leaning against his lion’s paw more as if exhausted, “Blue has been the only one to keep me sane for months now.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">              “I wish my connection to Red was as strong as yours is to your lion,” Keith stated as his companion glanced at him, “I wish I could open up like you can.  I wish I could take some of my walls down and just…speak.  I don’t talk well.  I don’t do words well.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">             “You aren’t doing too bad of a job now,” Lance pointed out as Keith shook his head, “I don’t want to feel like this anymore, Keith.  You all made me feel like I don’t belong here.  I want to go home.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">            “Would you tell us more?” Keith tried as Lance tilted his head in question at him, “Even if you leave, I want to know everything so I can fix how I deal with others.  Everyone is remorseful for what happened.  No one wants anything swept under the rug and I know all of us need to hear more of how we made you feel.  Would you please tell us everything before you leave us?  Please, Lance?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">            “I don’t want a bunch of false apologies and pity.  I won’t be guilted into staying.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">            “I wouldn’t want any of that either,” Keith agreed as Lance blinked at him, “Come yell at us some more.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">            “I’m tired, Keith,” Lance breathed, “I…I’m tired of feeling like this and being hurt.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">            “Please, Lance?  Talk to us,” Keith urged, standing to hold out a hand, “At least allow us to grow from our mistakes.  I am afraid that you will start shutting others out like I do if you don’t open up.  Don’t become like me.  Sometimes it sucks to be me.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">            “Yeah, sucks to be you, Mullet,” Lance tried to joke, but it fell flat as he seemed lost in thought, “I want to go home.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">            “I will take you myself in Red,” Keith promised, making Lance stare at him, “Just come and talk with us.  Please.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">            Lance bit his lip as he appeared to consider Keith’s words before finally walking forward to bat Keith’s hand aside.  It was not unkind or harsh.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">            “Fine,” Lance said as he passed by Keith, “I’ll say my piece and then I want to leave.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">            Keith pursed his lips and followed behind Lance as the other teen again led the way back to the common room.  It was at the door that Lance hesitated.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">           “Please,” Keith urged as Lance glanced to him, “Please, Lance.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">            The blue paladin grimaced, but walked into the lounge as the chatter died at the doors whooshing open.  Eyes brightened at Lance’s entrance, but the blanket wrapped teen refused to look up at anyone and silently went back to his former chair.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">           “Lance has agreed to tell us more of what he’s gone through,” Keith said as he went to take a seat, “Then I’m taking him home.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">           “What?  No!” Hunk gasped, looking desperately at Lance, “Please don’t go, Lance.  We need you.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">           “No, you don’t,” Lance whimpered, refusing to look up, “I’ve not been needed for a long time.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">          “That’s not true, Number 3,” Coran corrected as Lance sighed.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">          “Let’s let Lance talk,” Shiro ordered, leaning forward to watch the teen, “I want to know the truth of how badly we let you down, Lance.  We can’t understand your need to leave if we don’t know the whole story.  When did this start?  Let’s go from there.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">          Lance flicked his eyes up at Shiro before looking away again.  The team exchanged looks as Lance remained silent before seeming to shudder.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">         “I don’t know,” Lance began, looking lost and tired, “I just always kind of felt on the outside.  I wasn’t some genius, couldn’t fix things perfectly or be amazing.  I was just me and I worked with what I had like I did in my family and it didn’t work.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">         “What didn’t work?” Pidge asked, leaning forward, “What did you do in your family?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">         “I…I was like the youngest and all my siblings ended up having to take care of me at some point,” Lance stated, smiling ruefully, “Sometimes, they didn’t want to because I was this annoying baby brother, but I could make them laugh.  I found my place in my family by making them laugh and cheering them up when I was with them.  Mama said I shine brightly and made others happy and I discovered that I loved making people happy.  It became important to me to make others happy around me.  I went to the Garrison to make my family proud and help others.  I wanted to make other people happy again when times were hard for them.  I wanted to be a hero like Shiro.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        Shiro blushed as the team looked towards him.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        “But nothing I tried could make any of you happy.  I just kept getting kicked to the side like I didn’t matter.  Like any efforts I put forth were useless in missions, in decisions, in anything really,” Lance recounted, looking away again, “I felt like a kicked puppy left out in the cold.  So, I tried to help Hunk and Pidge, but got told off most of the time.  Allura and Shiro never gave me a second thought when I had any ideas and never listened to anything I had to say.  I tried to train more like Keith to improve, but was told that I just bothered him so I learned to train alone.  Only Coran and the mice gave me the time of day.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        The rest of the team frowned deeply as tears swam in Lance’s eyes.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        “I kept trying even when I felt it wasn’t worth it anymore,” Lance continued, “But then I found Shiro’s vlog recently.  I didn’t mean to find it.  I was looking for a recorded battle and stumbled on it.  I was going to turn it off because I knew it was personal and then I heard my hero basically say I wasn’t one of his ‘brave’ men and women on his team.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        “I am so sorry, Lance,” Shiro interjected as Lance shook his head, “That was wrong of me to say.  I do not feel that way about you at all.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        “I don’t believe you,” Lance breathed, looking sadly at the black paladin, “I first lost all faith in you and after that last mission, I don’t trust you.  Not anymore.  I really did once.  I respected you.  Wanted to be you, but not now.  You hurt me and I have enough of a sense of myself to know that I don’t deserve this.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        Shiro looked crushed as Lance looked back at his lap as he played with the edges of the blanket.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        “I believed in all of us.  Even Keith,” Lance allowed, “I believed that Allura and Coran would always have our backs and we would fight to keep Earth and other planets safe against the Galra.  I stayed even though I wanted to be with my family.  I stayed to protect the new family I thought we were.  Allura sold me.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        “I didn’t mean to,” Allura offered, looking tearfully at Lance, “Hunk told me what ‘puta’ means and you called me that rightfully so.  I’ve been a royal one.  No pun intended with the whole princess thing.  My intentions were never to use you as a bargaining chip or hurt you in anyway, but I did.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        “You did and you let him hurt me.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        “Who?  Shiro?” Hunk voiced as Lance glanced warily to the side, “Someone else?  Fuck!  That Herwin leader.  That’s who you meant.  He hurt you?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        “I wouldn’t cooperate,” Lance whispered, holding his blanket tight around him, “I’m fine now.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        “<em>How</em> did he hurt you?” Coran snapped as Lance looked up in surprise at him, “Did he…did that creature <em>touch</em> you inappropriately?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        “Inappropriately?  Oh!  Not like that,” Lance denied quickly as the whole team let out the breath they’d been holding, “He just…he took my armor and my bayard.  Made me wear that dress.  He watched his servants force me into that outfit and told me the things he’d do to me with Allura’s blessing since I was now his ‘pretty one.’  It was gross and creepy.  Made me feel like an object.  I hated it!  I hated the way the creep made me feel.  I felt helpless and used by the team.  I-I’m telling my mama on the both of you!”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        “You two are going to die by slipper,” Hunk frowned out, pointing first at Allura and then Shiro, “Lance’s mother takes no prisoners.  She could defeat the Galra with one shoe.  The two of you are doomed.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        “True,” Lance grinned out for a second before sobering, “He hurt me and the two of you let him.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        “We…we didn’t get to you at first, but I got those cuffs off of you while Allura grabbed your armor and bayard after we learned the truth,” Shiro insisted, “From the moment we touched down on Herwi, the people grabbed us and dragged us from one location to another.  It is a part of their culture to be overly touchy and jerking one another around.  I had no idea that when they dragged you off that they were doing anything to you like that.  I’d have loped that king’s head right off his shoulders if I had known, Lance.  I swear it.  You watched my vlog.  That stupid vlog that I was an idiot in, but did you watch to the end?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">        Lance nodded as Shiro stood and went on his knees to look into Lance’s bowed face.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “I said I’d do whatever it takes to get everyone back home safe, right?” Shiro pushed as Lance nodded again, “I meant whatever it takes and that was in regards to you too, Lance.  I’ve been a fool and not seen how this team was letting you down, but I’d never, never allow anything or anyone to harm you if I can help it.  I have been disrespectful and dismissive of you and your feelings, Lance.  I understand that I’ve let you down, but that mission was not meant to be what it turned into.  I think I’m going to ask Pidge to figure out a way to blow up the planet.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “Done,” Pidge voiced, looking angry, “Or I’ll jam every piece of technology they have so it sings ‘The Song That Never Ends’ at top volume for all eternity.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “That’s brutal,” Lance snickered for a second, “Doesn’t change anything though.  I can’t be a paladin anymore because I don’t trust my team.  I can’t form Voltron with you.  Not anymore.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       "If Lance goes home, I’m going with him,” Hunk declared as Lance gasped, “Yep.  I’m not staying here without my buddy.  I’ve sucked at being a friend lately, but not anymore.  If Lance doesn’t trust Allura and Shiro, then neither do I.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “Hunk, the universe needs Voltron,” Lance pointed out, leaning forward, “You’re needed here.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “I go where you go,” Hunk stated, crossing his arms, “Period.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “Guess I have to go too,” Keith hummed as Lance squawked at him in shock, “Can’t keep sharp without my rival, right?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “I’ll need to go too,” Shiro decided, standing as Lance blinked up at him, “I am not worthy to be the Voltron leader anymore.  I let my team down and hurt a teammate immeasurably.  I suck.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “You do not!” Lance huffed angrily, “You need to do your job and let me go so you can get someone more deserving on your team.  I’m not going to be guilted like this.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “Not guilting,” Shiro denied, scowling darkly, “I’d have been court-martialed if this was the Garrison, Lance.  I failed my team.  I allowed you to be hurt.  I lost your respect and your trust due to pride.  I was wrong, Lance.  I cannot apologize enough and know that you have reached a limit.  I go where you go.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “This is ridiculous!” Lance fussed, standing angrily, “You don’t need me!  You’ve all made that abundantly clear.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “I need to find my brother and dad,” Pidge spoke up as Lance looked at her, “I just need to find them and I’ll come home with you too, Lance.  We’re a team.  We stick together.  I’m so sorry for being a pain in the ass.  I hurt you by being a stuck-up snob.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “I hurt you being a bad friend,” Hunk added.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “I hurt you by being a closed off jerk and lashing out at everyone, but especially you,” Keith huffed as Lance snorted softly, “I’d like another chance to learn to be better.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “I’d like a chance to prove that I’m more than a ‘Princess of nothing,’” Allura added as Lance flushed, “You are right, Lance.  If I’m willing to do anything to win the war with the Galra, then I am acting just like them in hurting anyone to reach my goals.  I went too fast in my excitement of a powerful ally in the coalition to read the agreement carefully.  I made a grave error and you were harmed because of that.  I cannot tell you how sorry I am.  Coran is making me do many language lessons to learn from my mistake and I agree with his punishment.  I was wrong.  Very wrong.  Please don’t leave us because of my stupidity.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “I don’t know how I feel,” Lance breathed, turning his back on the room, “I-I just mainly feel empty inside.  It’s like all I have left is anger.  I can’t form Voltron with that between us.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “True,” Coran hummed, tapping a foot irritably, “Well, I am highly put out!”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “What?” Lance asked, turning as Coran stood and strode towards him, “Coran?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “You all have been mean to my friend,” Coran huffed, pulling Lance flush against his side, “For shame on all of you.  It is late.  I’m taking Lance to his room so he can get some well needed sleep while the rest of you think on what you’ve done.  This is not how paladins treat one another or how a princess protects ones that she pledged to shield.  How can we save the universe if we cannot protect this team?  Enough talking for tonight.  Come, Lance.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       Lance blinked while Coran led him from the room as most stared, sinking back into their seats.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “I feel like my mother just scolded me,” Pidge remarked as most nodded, “I feel like I need to stand in a corner.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “And reflect on our actions,” Shiro acknowledged with a grimace, “I fucked up majorly.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “Language, Shiro, but true.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “Thank you, Pidge,” Shiro groaned, falling back to slouch against the couch, “I’ve been an ass.  Lance has every right to be pissed at me.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “To be pissed at us all,” Hunk grumbled, wringing his hands together, “He can’t leave.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “I promised to take him home and I will if he chooses,” Keith pointed out as dirty looks were sent his way, “I want him to stay too, but he also didn’t want to be made to feel pitied nor guilted.  Lance’s decision to stay must be one he chooses on his own.  I think that is only fair.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">      “Coran took Lance away so he could have some time to recoup and think on what was said,” Allura added, “I know Coran.  He was protecting Lance’s right to decide on his own too, Keith.  I hope we can convince him to stay.  I want Lance here with us.  The team would not be complete without him.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “I meant what I said,” Hunk pushed, “I leave with Lance.  I’m not abandoning him again.  We fix this or there is no longer a Team Voltron.  I’m sorry.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">       “I think we all are,” Shiro offered, “So, how do we fix this, Hunk?  You know Lance the best out of all of us.”   </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To be continued...           </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I Don't Know How I Feel.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>     The next day found Hunk attempting to make as many of Lance’s favorite space foods for breakfast.  Coran walked in and blinked at seeing the rest of the team helping in the kitchen including Princess Allura.</p><p>     “Going to try and ‘butter Lance up’ as you Earthlings say?” Coran asked, watching the small chaos.</p><p>     “No,” Hunk denied, frowning deeply, “Just…just trying to make an apology breakfast.  Show Lance that I remember his favorites and that he is important enough to notice.”</p><p>     “Ah,” Coran hummed, “Problem is, I can’t get Lance to leave his room.  He didn’t sleep well and said he isn’t hungry.”</p><p>     “He does that when upset,” Hunk and Pidge stated at the same time as the rest stared at them.</p><p>     “Yes, well,” Pidge blushed out, adjusting Matt’s glasses, “Hunk, Lance, and I were teamed up at the Garrison.  Even I’ve picked up on a lot of Lance’s habits even though I haven’t known him as long as Hunk.  He withdraws when he is upset.”</p><p>     “I’m going to take him a tray,” Hunk declared, already loading one down with too much food, “It’s best to not be pushy or Lance withdraws more.”</p><p>     “Shouldn’t Coran take him food since he still trusts him over the rest of us?” Shiro questioned as Hunk shook his head.</p><p>     “Lance needs to be drawn out gently and by each one of us or he’ll hide behind Coran until he withdraws completely,” Hunk denied, lifting the tray firmly, “This is all part of the plan to help Lance see that he is important to us.  One step at a time.”</p><p>     Hunk marched with determination to Lance’s room and knocked before entering the darkened room.</p><p>     “Lance?”</p><p>     “Go away, Hunk,” Lance murmured, rolling over in bed away from his friend.</p><p>     “I will, but I brought you some breakfast,” Hunk offered, coming over to settle the tray on the bedside table, “All your favorites.  Space bacon, liget eggs, wannabe toast with beneal jam.  Look, your favorite space muffins.  I also made some nanden juice that is so similar to orange juice.  You always enjoy that.”</p><p>     Lance sat up and glanced in question at the tray before looking at Hunk.</p><p>     “We didn’t have any nanden fruit left,” Lance stated as Hunk nodded at him.</p><p>     “Did some shopping while you slept at a night market Allura knew about on a nearby planet,” Hunk admitted, “Wanted to surprise you.  Show you that I remembered your favorites.”</p><p>     “Then why did you forget me?” Lance whispered, looking away.</p><p>     “I didn’t,” Hunk denied quickly, “I just got carried away with the new tech that Pidge and I were unravelling to fortify the castle.  You got lost in the shuffle because I wasn’t paying attention.  I never meant for you to think that I don’t care.”</p><p>     “I still don’t know what I think,” Lance sighed as Hunk nodded again.</p><p>     “You figure that out at your own pace and in your own time,” Hunk spoke, looking sad for a moment, “No guilt.  No pity.  No trying to force you to make any decisions that you don’t want to make.  I want you to stay only if you want to stay and show you that I’m here when you need me.  May I have those clothes?”</p><p>     Lance glanced at the nazveil outfit that Hunk was pointing at on the floor and then sent a questioning look towards the yellow paladin.</p><p>     “I’m burning that shit,” Hunk growled as Lance blinked at him.</p><p>     “O-okay,” Lance stuttered at the anger radiating off of Hunk before the larger male calmed.</p><p>     “Sorry.  I’m pissed at what those clothes represent and that you got forced into wearing that…<em>filth</em>,” Hunk soothed as Lance nodded, “Eat and take whatever time you need, okay?  I’m here if you need me.”</p><p>     Lance nodded again and watched as Hunk snatched up the dress and shoes before exiting with one last quick glance his way.  The blue paladin didn’t like seeing Hunk like this, but hadn’t liked feeling so lost for so long either.  Not even his best friend had noticed what was being done to Lance.</p><p>     “Pidge,” Hunk called as he entered the dining area, “I need something to incinerate cloth.  Got anything wicked and evil enough to dispose of these disgusting clothes after breakfast?”</p><p>     “Yep,” Pidge agreed as Hunk slung the black clothes into a corner and sat unhappily at the table as eyes watched him, “How was Lance?”</p><p>     “Too quiet,” Hunk fussed, picking at the plate of food that Coran set before him, “Talked a little, but he’s pretty closed off.  I think we did surprise him with the breakfast dishes though.  Lance even noticed the juice and remembered that we ran out of that fruit a couple of movements ago.”</p><p>     “It’s a start,” Shiro agreed, leaning on his prosthetic hand while he also picked at his food, “Rebuilding trust is a slow affair.  I hate this.  Hate that I allowed this to happen.  Lance deserves better.”</p><p>     “Then we’ll do better,” Keith urged, “I’m not hungry.  Excuse me.”</p><p>     Keith didn’t wait for a reply and left the dining room.  Without thought, he arrived at Lance’s room.  Grimacing he knocked and entered without waiting for an answer.</p><p>     “Mullet?  What?” Lance grumbled, sitting up in bed.</p><p>     “Here,” Keith offered, holding out something in his hand, “This is for you.”</p><p>     Lance looked at Keith and hesitantly put out his hand as the red paladin dropped a small object in his palm.</p><p>     “Is this a keychain?” Lance asked, turning the item around in his hand, “A hippo?”</p><p>     “Pygmy hippo to be precise,” Keith explained, tapping the small figure with his finger, “Last thing my dad gave me when we went to the zoo together before he died.”</p><p>     “I can’t take this,” Lance insisted, trying to give Keith the keychain, “Take it back.”</p><p>     “Keep it for me,” Keith ordered, pushing Lance’s hand back toward his chest, “That was my comfort item that I kept safe when I was in the system.  Helped me focus and think over things when I held it.  It’s just a loan.  Piggie’s important to me.”</p><p>     “Piggie?” Lance snorted, looking over the keychain again.</p><p>     “Yeah, I’m not the most creative being,” Keith admitted, “Piggie was my only companion until I met Shiro, Lance.  I thought…I thought Piggie could help ground you as you decide what you need to do.  Whether you decide to leave or stay, I wanted you to feel that I am here for you.  I’m not good at the whole team or friendship thing and I’ve been pretty awful to you lately, but I hope Piggie helps you.  He always helped me.”</p><p>     “Keith, why a hippo?”</p><p>     “I love them,” Keith said, smiling softly as his gaze turned far away as he remembered better times, “Dad took me to the zoo because they had just been gifted with some babies.  Pygmy hippos are the best out of all hippos.  I was pretty young and it was my birthday.  It was…it is a good memory.  Piggie helped me grieve when my father died.  He’s just a loan so take good care of him.”</p><p>     Lance looked down at the keychain as he looked at how worn it was and obviously well-handled since the plastic figure was smoothed over with frequent touching.</p><p>     “I will take good care of Piggie,” Lance finally agreed as Keith nodded at him, “I refuse to keep him.  Piggie is important.”</p><p>     “Which is why he’s going to guard you for me,” Keith pushed, “I just…don’t know how to say ‘sorry’ and don’t want to say something that makes anything worse.  I do that a lot, Lance.  I don’t know what to say and the wrong thing comes out of my mouth.  I hope you know that I wouldn’t allow just anybody to know about or even touch my Piggie.  I just wanted to say that and…I’ll go now…um…eat, okay?”</p><p>    Keith blushed hot as he bolted from the room.  Lance watched him leave before looking over at the untouched tray of food.  The silent teen looked up when Coran came into the room.</p><p>     “That boy can move,” Coran whistled as Lance snorted at the advisor, “Saw him tear out of here.  Everything alright?”</p><p>     “I was ordered to eat and then he ran,” Lance said, looking back at the food, “I just don’t feel very hungry right now.”</p><p>     “I don’t think you’ve felt very hungry for a while judging by how you’ve been picking at your food for your version of months, Lance.  I noticed and was going to say something before your honesty came out,” Coran hummed, looking saddened, “At least drink your juice and eat some of the eggs.  You can’t recoup and make a good decision with no food to help your brain function.”</p><p>     Lance sighed before agreeing.  He carefully tucked Piggie into his breast pocket without Coran knowing.  Piggie was a cherished secret for Keith and not one Lance would divulge without permission even if he was ticked at the hothead.  He’d been touched that Keith would even allow him to hold what was obviously one of his treasures. </p><p>     However, the confusing, mixed messages he got from not only Keith, but the rest of the team made him hesitate to open up again or trust so easily.  Not anymore.  Throughout the day, one person would show up after another.  Pidge with a new videogame, Hunk with more food, Allura with translated adventure books from Altea, so on and so forth.</p><p>     “I wish they’d let me alone,” Lance whined to Coran as the advisor sighed loudly, “Ignored for so long and now I can’t get them out of my hair.  I just need some time to think and be left alone.”</p><p>     “They mean well,” Coran soothed as Lance grimaced, “I think that everyone is seeing their mistakes and are trying to show you they care in ways that they think aren’t pushy.  Well intentioned as they are, I do see your point.”</p><p>     “I get what they are trying to do,” Lance admitted, looking into his lap, “But I’m tired, Coran.  It…it’s like I unloaded so much that I’ve been carrying around for so long and letting it out just took everything out of me.  I just need time to myself.  I need…I don’t know what I need.”</p><p>     “You are confused by the attention?”</p><p>     “Yeah,” Lance breathed, looking back up at Coran, “I can’t help, but wonder if this is about me or really about Voltron.  Do they want me for who I am or for what I can do for them?  Nobody seemed to care about me before.  Why now?”</p><p>     “My boy, the team has been horrible to you,” Coran stated as Lance nodded, “However, I know that everyone here truly despises that they made you feel this way and treated you so badly.  Lance, I wish for you to stay, but only if you know that this is a place you feel you can remain to be within.  Your mental health and sense of trust in your team has surely been damaged, but I think everyone is really trying to show that you are an integral part of this team.  Just observe and think about what is going to make you happy.  Your happiness and sense of safety is what is the most important right now.  I want you to make a decision that you know you can live with that leads to improving your state of mind.  I will support you even if you decide to leave.  Though, I would miss you terribly.”</p><p>     Lance teared up and reached to hug Coran as the mustached man allowed the teen to weep on his shoulder.  The blue paladin would also miss Coran if he went home, but the thought of being with his family was so tempting right now.  To have his mother hold him and wipe the internal hurts away.  Late into the night, Lance finally felt himself need to eat something since he’d skipped out on lunch and dinner.  Walking towards the kitchen, Lance stilled as he heard something from the observation room.  Quietly, the teen entered the room and startled at seeing Shiro sitting on the floor leaning against a wall to look out the windows.  A crying Shiro that jumped at Lance coming into the room.</p><p>     “Lance,” Shiro breathed, wiping a hasty hand across his eyes, “Um…hello.”</p><p>     Lance blinked at him owlishly before pulling into himself.</p><p>     “Hi,” the teen offered, looking to the side, “Nightmare?”</p><p>     “Kind of,” Shiro said as Lance glanced to see him looking out the window at the stars, “Nightmare is as good a word as anything.”</p><p>     “I don’t understand,” Lance admitted as Shiro looked back at him, “What else would make someone like you cry if not a nightmare?”</p><p>     “Failure,” Shiro whispered, “Hearing the harsh truth that I hurt someone…that I hurt you.  Knowing that I lost your respect because of being a prideful ass that didn’t take the time to really look and see you for who you are.  I’ve been one hell of a judgmental prick, Lance.”</p><p>     Lance snorted as he looked away.</p><p>     “Do…,” Shiro tried before trailing off as Lance looked up at him again, “Do you <em>really</em> think…I don’t remember clearly…do you think I <em>actually</em> let people die on the Kerberos mission?”</p><p>     “What?” Lance gasped as Shiro glanced up at him with watery eyes.</p><p>     “I can’t remember,” Shiro breathed, “I’ve been so horrible to you and I’m trying to think back…did I do that before?  Did I not try enough when the Galra captured us?  Did I let people die because I didn’t fight hard enough for them because I <em>did</em> decide who was important and who wasn’t?  Who else did I fail?  Did I…”</p><p>     “Wait.  Whoa,” Lance interrupted as Shiro stilled, “You have been an ass to me.  No denying that, but what I said about the Kerberos mission was said out of anger and hurt.  Shiro, I’m pissed as hell at you, but I shouldn’t have accused you of hurting anyone on that mission.  That was all the Galra and not you, Shiro.  I’m sorry.  I was trying to hurt you as much as you hurt me.  I shouldn’t have said that to you.”</p><p>     Shiro groaned as he let his head hit the wall behind him.</p><p>     “Please don’t apologize to me, Lance.  You lashed out because I allowed you to reach your breaking point,” Shiro pointed out, “I <em>have</em> been an ass.  You are as brave as anyone on this team.  I can’t unsay what I said, but I really am sorry, Lance.  I’m sorry for what I’ve said and done.  I’m sorry that I didn’t look at you for who you are instead of judging everything with a narrow view as if I had the right to judge you.  Looking back on everything since we formed this team, I see your hand and presence in a lot of what we accomplished and never gave you the credit you deserved.  You are right.  I’d never had allowed Keith to have been treated the way I treated you.  Some ‘hero’ I am.”</p><p>     “I don’t know what to say,” Lance hummed as Shiro looked back at him, “I can acknowledge your apologies, but I don’t know if I can accept them.  You made me question whether I’m even worth anything, Shiro.  You have no idea what it feels like to be made to feel useless.”</p><p>     “But, I actually do,” Shiro denied, standing to walk to Lance, “The Galra left me feeling that way when I was powerless to protect my crewmates.  I hated them for that.  Hated feeling useless to save the ones who perished at those animals’ hands and then I turned into the same type of animal by treating you the way I did.  Please.”</p><p>     Lance startled as Shiro gripped him by the shoulders and pulled him closer so that Lance had to look up at him.</p><p>     “Please.  Never question your worth, Lance,” Shiro urged, squeezing Lance’s shoulders gently, “You are worth far more than this useless leader that I am.  I am so, so sorry for ever making you feel like you were useless.  I am so sorry for judging you.  I am sorry for letting you down.  I am sorry you dreamed of wanting to be like me because I hurt you.  No one should want to be like me.  I’m a terrible person.”</p><p>     Lance blinked up at Shiro before pulling away feeling vulnerable and awkward.</p><p>     “I don’t think you are a terrible person,” Lance murmured, reaching to hug himself, “I…just wanted to be enough for you to respect too.  I wasn’t, Shiro.  You judged me and made me question my place on a team that I thought I belonged to.  I have no answers for you right now because I don’t know what I believe anymore.  You spoke about focus and teamwork when you respected the others and not me.  I’m not perfect, but I’m a good person and was there for all of you when you needed me.  I just got ridiculed and basically emotionally abandoned in return.  I’m tired, Shiro, and don’t want to feel like this anymore.  I…good night.  I’m going back to my room.  I just can’t do this with you right now.”</p><p>     “You are a better person than me.”</p><p>     Lance froze at the door at Shiro’s words as he glanced back at the distraught man.</p><p>     “I cannot apologize enough for my failures and the way you’ve been treated yet you still apologized for your words and provided comfort,” Shiro continued, “I do respect you, Lance.  Now more than ever.  You are a great person.  One I wish to be more like.  You are one of my heroes, Lance.  I give you my word of honor on that truth of mine.  I know you lost your trust in me because of my actions so I won’t try to convince you otherwise.  I just hope one day you’ll allow me to show that I can change my ways so I can gain your trust again.  You looked exhausted so I won’t keep you up any longer.  Goodnight, Lance.”</p><p>     Lance blushed a bit before hurrying away.  It would have been nice to hear those words if he felt he could trust the speaker, but right now the blue paladin didn’t know if he believed Shiro.  Forgetting about food, Lance rushed back to his chambers.</p><p>     “What do I feel?” Lance thought, reaching to take Keith’s keychain from his pocket to gaze at Piggie, “Is any of this worth fighting for and thinking about any longer, little hippo?  Is that what I’ve become?  A lonely boy talking to a plastic hippo named Piggie of all names?”</p><p>     Lance slept fitfully that night.  The pain of betrayal burned brightly in him which made him reject most food, gifts, or visits over the next couple of days.  He spoke to Coran and Coran alone.  Then Lance’s stubbornness reared.  Next, his anger so he went to the training deck to practice some moves and work out some of his frustrations on sentinels, but the more he fought the angrier he got.  The pain of pushing himself so hard helped ease the pain in his heart.  The pain felt good.</p><p>     “Computer, end program!”</p><p>     Lance snarled as he whirled around to see Shiro hurrying into the room with the rest of the team following.</p><p>     “Lance, what were you thinking?” Shiro demanded, stopping as the blue paladin growled, “You were about to be blasted from three locations and you turned off the safety features.  Allura alerted me to the danger you were putting yourself in.”</p><p>     “I could have handled it,” Lance spat, deactivating his bayard, “Keith turns the safeties off all the time.  I was fine.”</p><p>     “Which I have been reprimanded for so many times that Shiro even grounded me from training without him being there,” Keith fussed, shaking his head at Lance, “Dude, you were inches from getting fried.”</p><p>     “I was fine!” Lance grumbled, placing a hand against the wall to steady himself.</p><p>     “You are also trembling there, Buddy,” Hunk pointed out, stepping over carefully, “You are damn pale, Lance.  I think you are at your limits and this was really dangerous what you did.  I know you haven’t been eating or sleeping well.  You could have gotten seriously injured.”</p><p>     “Have you been spying on me?” Lance hissed, stepping back to lean against the wall, “I don’t need babysitters.”</p><p>     “No, you don’t,” Allura assured, coming over as Lance looked away from her, “Lance, we’ve been worried and been getting reports from Coran on how you are doing.  I also have a program set up to alert me when safeties are turned off on the ship.  That’s how I knew about you today and the times that Keith did the same.”</p><p>     “Number 3, I told you that the team all cares for you and are trying to make amends,” Coran began as Lance looked to him, “I have not breached your confidentiality, but have been giving health reports.  I don’t think training, even with safety protocols on, is the best idea right now.  You are not at your best, Lance.  You are fighting to remain standing.”</p><p>     “I am not,” Lance whispered, pushing off the wall to leave.</p><p>     “Yes, you are,” Pidge bit out, standing in the blue paladin’s way, “Were…were you <em>trying</em> to harm yourself?”</p><p>     “What?” Lance gasped as Pidge blinked back tears.</p><p>     “H-have we hurt you so bad that you were trying to hurt yourself?” Pidge pushed, wiping away a stray tear as the rest of the team looked just as troubled, “You don’t usually fight so reckless and you weren’t focusing.  It was like you didn’t care, Lance.  Like if you got hurt…I don’t want you hurt, Lance!”</p><p>     “Pidge,” Lance breathed as the usual stoic green paladin hiccupped in distress, “No, Chica, I wasn’t trying to harm myself.  Whatever gave you that silly idea?”</p><p>     “You don’t eat or hardly sleep,” Pidge listed off, “You won’t talk to us and I get why, but this isn’t like you.  Why turn off the safeties?  Why, Lance?”</p><p>     Lance hummed softly to himself as he looked over Pidge’s head.</p><p>     “To feel alive,” Lance admitted, rocking back on his heels, “To feel more than just dead inside for a moment.”</p><p>     “Dead inside?” Shiro repeated, “Is that how you feel?  Have we made you feel that bad that you feel empty?”</p><p>     “Perhaps numb is a better word,” Lance amended, sighing softly flicking his eyes up to meet Shiro’s in a challenge, “Happens when ones you were fighting beside show you mean so little to them.  In the end, even with everyone’s apologies, this happened.  You left me behind like a piece of trash that was no longer needed.  I’m angry and I just wanted a way to let off the…”</p><p>     “Let off the what?” Coran questioned as Lance trailed off, “The anger?”</p><p>     “The pain.  The pain inside,” Lance breathed, looking down as he patted his chest with a hand, “It hurts to feel so worthless to your team.  <em>It hurts!!</em>”</p><p>     The last was bellowed as the team gasped at the livid paladin.</p><p>     “Why <em>me</em>?!” Lance thundered, turning to land a punch on Shiro’s chest as the man grunted at the impact and took each hit as the blue paladin continued to rain punches against the other man, “<em>Why</em> am I not good enough for you?!  Why do you question <em>everything</em> I <em>do</em> like I’m some fuck up?!  Why, Shiro?!  Why am I never <em>good</em> enough?!”</p><p>     “<em>Lance</em>,” Shiro said, catching the other’s wrists as Lance bit back his sobs, “I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry, Lance.  You <em>are</em> good enough.  You are.”</p><p>     “I don’t believe you,” Lance whimpered, sagging in exhaustion, “I hurt so damn much and I just want to be good enough.  Why am I never good enough for anyone?  Why?”</p><p>     Large arms ripped Lance away from Shiro and pulled the sobbing, blue paladin against a warm chest.  Hunk.</p><p>     “You are more than ‘good enough’ for me,” Hunk soothed as Lance cried against him, “I have had enough.  Lance and I are going home.  I won’t stand here and see him suffer with this emotional rejection he feels anymore.  Lance’s trust is destroyed and he is in pain.  Allura, find two other paladins.  Lance and I are done.”</p><p>     “No,” Lance mumbled, pulling back to look up at Hunk, “The galaxy needs you.  Needs Voltron.”</p><p>     “Yeah, it does,” Hunk agreed, grimacing, “But Voltron cannot be formed with a broken team.  You lost trust in us and I am disgusted with how not only I’ve acted, but the rest.  I thought better of this team and look at what we allowed to happen to you.  Lance, you're growing ill.  Let’s go home.  Allura can find other paladins.  It’s time to end the suffering you have endured.  Come on.”</p><p>     “Wait!” Allura called, hurrying forward, “You were brought here for a reason.  <em>All</em> of you.  I had lost sight of that.  Forgot that the battle is not a personal vendetta, but a need to bring right back to the universe.  Don’t you see, Lance?”</p><p>     “See what?” Lance asked, leaning heavily against Hunk while refusing to look at the princess.</p><p>     “See that I was wrong and you were right and how very sorry and embarrassed I am by my actions,” Allura continued, kneeling to look up into the blue paladin’s lowered face, “See that I was becoming something I never wanted to be.  You made me see that and want to become a better person.  One that fights for the <em>right</em> reasons."</p><p>To be continued...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Do I Dare Believe?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>     “Wait!” Allura called, hurrying forward, “You were brought here for a reason.  <em>All</em> of you.  I had lost sight of that.  Forgot that the battle is not a personal vendetta, but a need to bring right back to the universe.  Don’t you see, Lance?”</p>
<p>     “See what?” Lance asked, leaning heavily against Hunk while refusing to look at the princess.</p>
<p>     “See that I was wrong and you were right and how very sorry and embarrassed I am by my actions,” Allura continued, kneeling to look up into the blue paladin’s lowered face, “See that I was becoming something I never wanted to be.  You made me see that and want to become a better person.  One that fights for the <em>right</em> reasons.  You make me want to be a good person, Lance.  I want to be just like you when I grow up because if you were words on a page, you’d be <em>fine</em> print.”</p>
<p>     Everything froze.  No one breathed for several seconds.  Lance’s laughter broke the spell.  He laughed so hard that Hunk had to hold him up as the yellow paladin soon joined in on the mirth with the rest of the team following.</p>
<p>     “Oh, Dios mio,” Lance snickered out as even Keith laughed aloud, “Who taught you that?  That’s horrible even by my standards.”</p>
<p>     “Pidge has been teaching me human colloquialisms,” Allura chuckled as she sat on the floor and sobered, “I wanted to try and learn more about your ways, Lance, so I could understand how much I messed up and never make the same mistakes.  You use humor to reach out to others.  I wanted to try the same.”</p>
<p>     “He also uses humor to cover hurts,” Shiro spoke up as Lance flushed, “Hunk is right.  Your trust is destroyed, Lance, and you are not doing well right now.  That is my fault.”</p>
<p>     “That is the team’s fault,” Keith interjected, scowling angrily, “Each of our fault.  Not just Shiro’s.”</p>
<p>     “Stop defending me, Keith,” Shiro insisted, kneeling next to Allura, “I don’t want you to stay for Voltron.  I want you to stay because this is your team, and we are.  We are your team, Lance.  Would you allow us to rebuild your trust in us?  I know it will be hard to open up to us again, but we are not giving up on you.  I said that night we spoke, that you are a better person than me.  Would you please help me learn to be a person like you?  Pickup lines and all.”</p>
<p>     “Not the pickup lines,” Keith hissed, “Anything, but those.”</p>
<p>     “Oh, hush, Mullet,” Lance sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face, “I have good pickup lines…usually.  I think Allura’s got me beat now though.  Pidge probably did a lot of research to educate the princess well.”</p>
<p>     “Perhaps, but I want to learn mine from you,” Shiro urged, reaching to take one of Lance’s slack hands, “Please stay.  Let us help you heal so we can heal too, Lance.  Please.  We need you for being exactly who you are.  You are just as important and valid a member of this team.  You are, Lance.”</p>
<p>     “Please,” Pidge begged, hugging Lance from the side as Shiro released the teen’s hand, “I can’t lose anyone else.  I can’t, Lance.  I need you to pull my head out of my snobby ass.”</p>
<p>     “Language!”</p>
<p>     “Shut it, Shiro.”</p>
<p>     Chuckles rang out as Pidge glared at Shiro before turning pleading eyes on the blue paladin.</p>
<p>     “What do you think, Buddy?” Hunk questioned as Lance looked up at him, “Do you want to give us all another chance?  Or do you want to go home?  I’ll take you right now.  This is your choice and no one else’s.”</p>
<p>     “I already told him <em>I</em> would take him the minute he decided,” Keith snapped as Lance blinked in surprise at the fussing paladin, “I swore I would, Lance, but we want you to stay here if you would like to.  I would like you to stay too.  Even if you can be annoying.</p>
<p>     “Keith,” Pidge hissed as Lance snorted.</p>
<p>     “It’s fair,” Lance pointed out, “I do try to antagonize Mullet as much as possible because he’s easy to tease sometimes.”</p>
<p>     “See?  See?  I <em>told</em> you,” Keith huffed, pointing in vindication at Shiro before deflating, “I guess I do the same, don’t I?”</p>
<p>     “Yeah, but half the time you don’t know where I’m coming from and take things the wrong way so you get all emo and snarly.  I kind of found your reactions funny and adorable,” Lance hummed as Keith blinked at him with a blush starting, “We…this whole team communicates badly at times.  I never noticed that before.”</p>
<p>     “It’s time to start noticing things better,” Shiro decided, “It’s time to rebuild not only your trust, Lance, but this whole team.  Will you stay and allow us a chance to make things right again?”</p>
<p>     Lance wanted to say “yes.”  He wanted to say it badly.  Lance watched Keith tense as he waited for the blue paladin’s answer.  He saw both Hunk and Pidge bite their bottom lip in anxiety.  He watched Allura look at him with hopeful eyes and Shiro holding his breath.  Coran remained calm and nodded at Lance to let him know that he would respect the teen’s decision.  Then pain hit when he straightened to give his answer.  Sharp pain that made him go breathless before watching as the floor rose up to meet him until everything went black.</p>
<p>WWW</p>
<p>     Hunk and Shiro acted as one to catch Lance when all color drained from Lance’s face and he suddenly collapsed forward.  The room erupted in movement as Lance was eased to the floor and laid on his back to assess what was going on.</p>
<p>     “What happened?  What’s wrong?” Pidge’s panicked voice demanded as Coran pushed forward.</p>
<p>     “Lance?  Buddy?” Hunk called, patting Lance’s cheek gently as he looked up worriedly at the others, “He’s warm.  Too warm.  I noticed that before, but I thought he was just overheated from the training.  I think he’s got a fever.”</p>
<p>     “He’s also having trouble breathing,” Shiro bit out, tilting Lance’s head back to open his airwaves more while scooting to give Coran room, “Injury from his training?”</p>
<p>     “Not sure, but I do not think so,” Coran denied, beginning his examination, “No head injury, not bleeding.  Mild fever, but that could be from over exerting himself.  What in the quiznak is this?”</p>
<p>     Coran stared at the mottled bruising he’d exposed on the right side of Lance’s chest when he’d pulled up the paladin’s shirt to listen to his heart.  Then Lance gave a small cough that caused a bit of blood to splatter from his lax lips.</p>
<p>     “Shit, internal bleeding,” Shiro hissed, wiping the blood from Lance’s lips while Coran frowned in concentration, “How can this not be an injury from training with the safeties off?”</p>
<p>     “I don’t see how it could be.  Coloration makes these bruises a few days old and there doesn’t seem to be any fresh contusions,” Keith stated, as Coran ran gentle fingers down Lance’s chest, “The bruises had to have come from that last mission which means there might be more unaccounted for damage.  Lance never let on that he was injured after the Herwi mission.”</p>
<p>     “Adrenalin might have made it so he didn’t realize he was injured,” Allura reminded, “Coran?”</p>
<p>     “I need Lance lifted carefully and taken to the medical wing immediately,” Coran ordered as the others looked to him to explain, “I think Lance had a cracked rib that might have displaced during his training today.  He straightened up and I think the rib shifted and has punctured a lung.  No time for more talking let’s move before he bleeds out or suffocates.”</p>
<p>     Shiro stood and grabbed an emergency stretcher from the nearby first aid compartment in the training room and he and Hunk worked to lift Lance as gently as possible onto the stretcher.</p>
<p>     “Careful,” Pidge fretted as Hunk and Shiro lifted their teammate and hurried out of the room without jostling the injured teen, “We can’t let the rib shift more and do further damage.  Broken bits could be close to his heart.”</p>
<p>     “They know, Pidge,” Keith reassured, reaching to help Allura up as they followed the stretcher, “Let them concentrate.  Lance is going to be fine once we get him into a pod.” </p>
<p>     Into a pod, Lance was ushered as soon as he was changed into the healing suit that everyone wore when placed into a cryopod.</p>
<p>     “It would seem that Pidge was quite correct about needing to be careful,” Coran sighed, reading the data from the pod as the team listened carefully, “Lance has several cracked ribs from blunt force trauma from injuries several days before his collapse.  One must have been quite damaged and broke off during Number 3’s training.  Pod is working on healing the punctured lung and realigning the rib bone into place.  Several shards were close enough to nick Lance’s heart.  There was enough internal bleeding to be very concerned.  He kept saying he hurt.  I don’t think he realized that he physically was hurting as well.”</p>
<p>     “Oh, Buddy,” Hunk groaned, placing his palm on the glass of the pod, “I’m so sorry you’ve suffered like this without anyone being aware enough to help.”</p>
<p>     “When you’ve fallen to the bottom, there is no place, but up,” Shiro pointed out as he too placed a hand on Lance’s pod, “Hopefully, Lance will give us another chance to fix our mistakes.  If not, I’m stepping down from my position.  Not only did I hurt Lance with my stellar leader skills, but I allowed him to be injured on that mission and didn’t insist on a medical scan when we returned when I knew he’d fought his treatment by the Herwin.  Keith, don’t defend me.”</p>
<p>     “I wasn’t going to,” Keith sniffed, as Shiro looked at him, “But, we all should have insisted on a medical scan when you three returned after knowing what happened.  He was alone for a varga with the Herwin king.  Is there evidence of any other injuries, Coran?”</p>
<p>     “Yes,” Corran admitted, “There is other bruising and very clear ligament strain, especially around his wrists.  Lance fought hard.  He’d probably be more injured if that cretin king hadn’t wanted to have his liberties with Lance after the ceremony to make Number 3 his concubine.”</p>
<p>     “<em>Ow!</em>” Shiro howled as he pulled his non-metal hand away from Pidge’s teeth, “Pidge!  You <em>bit</em> me!”</p>
<p>     “Serves you right,” Pidge huffed, crossing her arms as she bared her teeth, “That’s for nearly selling off Lance to be used as a sex slave.  I’m feeling better now.”</p>
<p>     “So, glad to hear,” Shiro growled, rubbing his bitten hand ruefully, “Glad taking a chomp out of me helped.”</p>
<p>     “It did.”</p>
<p>     “Green Gremlin!”</p>
<p>     “You don’t get to step down,” Hunk snapped as the others looked at him in surprise as he got in Shiro’s face and poked a finger in his chest, “You are going to fix what you and Allura allowed to be broken.  You are going to do your duties as our leader and help Lance heal.  You are not going to run away with your tail between your legs.  You…<em>we</em> broke Lance and we are going to put him back together again.  This is not about our feelings, it’s about our Lance.  Fix this, Shiro.”</p>
<p>     “I am seriously trying to,” Shiro sighed, “Fixing this isn’t going to be easy.  With no trust, our words are empty to Lance.”</p>
<p>     “Not completely,” Keith denied, tucking his keychain he’d taken from Lance’s jacket pocket into his coat, “He reassured Pidge, fought for Hunk to stay, laughed at Allura’s joke, and you told me he made you feel better the night he spoke with you, Shiro.  Lance is rallying to a point.  He is still trying to make others happy in his own way.  That’s who Lance is inside.”</p>
<p>     “So?” Hunk grumbled, “Means Lance is focusing on us instead of himself like he always does.  He sacrifices himself for others a lot and covers that with smoke and mirrors.”</p>
<p>     “Does he do that for everyone?” Keith pushed as Hunk frowned at him, “Or just for the ones he cares about?”</p>
<p>     “The ones he cares the most for usually,” Hunk admitted as Pidge nodded, “Though he can be quite a sacrificing ass for people he wants to protect.  Lance does need <em>some</em> form of babysitting since he can be brash and self-sacrificing.  He’d kill me to hear me say that.”</p>
<p>     “I know another a bit like that,” Shiro stated, giving a side eye to Keith as the red paladin rolled his eyes at him.</p>
<p>     “Anyway, what I mean is that despite his trust issues, Lance is still looking out for us,” Keith insisted, “I think he is as upset as the rest of us that our team is broken.  We may be able to use that to our advantage in reaching Lance little by little.”</p>
<p>     “I see, my boy,” Coran offered, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, “Lance wants to make others around him happy so we can only be happy if Lance is whole again.”</p>
<p>     “So, we show Lance what we need,” Shiro took up as he nodded, “Make him see that our happiness is wrapped in his welfare.  Not for Voltron, but for Lance and Lance only.  That our team is whole once he is whole.  Which would be the same for anyone of us at any given time.”</p>
<p>     “That Lance is a much loved and respected part of our family,” Allura stated as grins spread through the group.</p>
<p>     “Exactly,” Keith intoned, looking ruefully at Lance within the pod, “That he is accepted for who he is.  It is hard not being able to be yourself.”</p>
<p>     “Keith, no one is perfect,” Shiro injected as his ‘brother’ sighed, “I think we all continue to mature and change with time and constructive criticism can point out hidden truths that need to be acknowledged, but that is not what happened with Lance.  We were cruel by trying to get him to be someone he wasn’t and making him feel that he wasn’t enough for who he is now.  That is what you are trying to say, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>     “Yes,” Keith agreed easily, “I mean, we all have our flaws, but our flaws shouldn’t be used against us all the time.  Lance was right.  Teasing is one thing, cruelty hidden as constructive criticism is another.  I think we’ve all been guilty of that at one point or another.”</p>
<p>     “Then we will just let Lance know when he wakes,” Coran reminded, as eyes returned to the still figure in the pod, “Number 3’s vitals are stable, but he has certainly fretted himself sick.  He’s dehydrated, malnourished, has very low energy levels, and still running a fever that is steadily rising so I think Lance is coming down with an illness due to low immunity levels with the stress he’s endured.  The pod will heal his injuries and help with his energy levels, but we’ll have to deal with his illness on our own.  He’s going to be in there for at least five to six vargas.”</p>
<p>     “Then we wait,” Shiro decided, finding a seat, “I basically emotionally abandoned Lance once.  I’m not going to do that again.  I want to be here when he emerges from the pod.”</p>
<p>     “Me too,” Pidge agreed, plopping down in front of Lance’s pod as Hunk smiled and sat beside her while everyone else also made themselves comfortable to wait.</p>
<p>WWW</p>
<p>     Lance grunted as the pod opened and he felt himself falling forward.  Someone caught him…or more like several someones caught him as a familiar blanket was wrapped around his shoulders.  The blue paladin was confused as the ringing in his ear slowly subsided enough for him to hear voices.</p>
<p>     “Lance?  Lance?  Buddy, can you hear me?  Why isn’t he responding, Shiro?”</p>
<p>     “Give him a minute, Hunk.  He’s just emerged and is still feverish.  I remember it took me a second to hear what was happening around me when the cryopod finally released me the last time I was injured.”</p>
<p>     Lance felt hands supporting him as someone brushed fingers through his hair.  The sharp pain that he’d been feeling for a couple of days was gone.  Where was he?  Oh.  He remembered now…kinda.  Maybe?</p>
<p>     “Where…what’s happening?” Lance slurred, feeling weak and tired.</p>
<p>     “You were injured on that mission and then caused more internal damage by accident during your training session,” Keith listed off as Lance tried to focus on him from leaning against both Hunk and Shiro on the floor, “You passed out from the injury.  You had us worried, but the pod healed the problem.”</p>
<p>     “Unfortunately, you are still feverish and coming down with a doozy of a space cold,” Coran added as Lance looked up at him, “Welcome back, my boy, but you need bedrest and food eaten regularly from here on out.  Would you do that for me?”</p>
<p>     Lance blinked in confusion since his mind was still fuzzy.  Pidge surprised him when she reached and hugged him tight.</p>
<p>     “Please, Lance?”</p>
<p>     The words brought back everything then as he stiffened slightly.</p>
<p>     “Why…you are all here?” Lance gasped, focusing on the whole team gathered around him, “You…waited for me?”</p>
<p>     “Yeah, Buddy,” Hunk answered, surprising Lance by scooping him up with an arm under his knees and back, “You need to be in bed.  Here we go.”</p>
<p>     Lance felt confusion when he was not taken to his room, but rather set up in the common room on a large bed that hadn’t been there before.  He was tucked in as Coran set up a type of alien IV into the back of his hand as the advisor explained that Lance still needed fluids.</p>
<p>     “How are you feeling?” Shiro began as Lance looked to him from his pile of pillows.</p>
<p>     “Tired.  Confused,” Lance admitted, narrowing his eyes slightly, “Why am I in here?”</p>
<p>     “We wanted you close so we could watch over you,” Allura admitted, fidgeting nervously, “Be there for you while you recover, Lance.  We hoped to show you that we do indeed care very deeply for you.”</p>
<p>     Lance sighed as he looked away before jumping as Pidge grabbed his hand without the strange alien IV.</p>
<p>      “Hello, my name is Pidge Holt,” Pidge began as others looked at her questioningly, “I can be a real bitch at times.”</p>
<p>     “Language!”</p>
<p>     “Shut it,” Pidge ordered as she looked earnestly at Lance, “I’ve been a terrible friend and teammate.  I guess I kind of use sarcasm to protect myself and used it in a real nasty way against you, Lance.  I’m really sorry and pretty ashamed of myself.”</p>
<p>     “Hi,” Hunk chuckled, seeing what Pidge was attempting, “I’m Hunk.  I worry too much and haven’t been that good of a teammate lately.  I haven’t been real honest with myself and miss Earth as much as you do, Lance.  I’ve been trying to keep busy so I didn’t have to feel homesick.  I’m sorry that I let you be lost in the shuffle, Lance.  I miss our time together.  Just you and me.  I hope you can forgive me for being an asshat of a friend lately.”</p>
<p>     Shiro snorted softly as the Alteans looked just as confused as Lance.</p>
<p>     “Keith Kogane here, the one you like to call ‘Mullet’ and that has a habit of acting like an emo bitch.”</p>
<p>     “Oh, cut it out,” Shiro snickered as Keith gave a half smile as Lance snorted softly.</p>
<p>      “I suck at being natural around people,” Keith continued, nudging Pidge to the side as he secretly pressed Piggie into Lance’s palm, “I do get confused on how to react to others.  I’m sorry that I’ve been so insensitive and pretty disrespectful.  I’m trying to be a better teammate, Lance.”</p>
<p>     Lance felt like he wanted to cry.  He wanted to believe their words.</p>
<p>     “Okay.  Takashi Shirogane,” Shiro spoke up, “Rule follower to the point of becoming too rigid and judgmental.  I also have not been a very good teammate or leader lately if at all.  I failed you, Lance.  I’m asking for you to give me a chance to do better.  Show you that you can trust in me again one day, I hope to be soon.  I’m asking you to stay.  This team needs you.  You are valued and loved for being who you are.  Please, help us heal, Lance.  We need you.”</p>
<p>     “Allura, Princess of nothing,” Allura caught on as the others startled at her words while Lance gasped, “At least I have been acting like quite a brat lately so that title is as good as any.  Altea and my people are gone and this team has been kind enough to take up the cause for planets and peoples they have yet to meet.  I have not given you or the others the proper respect you deserve, Lance.  I am so sorry for thinking so highly of myself and what truly became a personal war for me.  I am glad you have taken me down several pegs, but not at the expense of your health and trust.  I am truly ashamed of my behavior.”</p>
<p>     “Then I am Coran and I apologize for not calling you on acting in such a way sooner, Princess,” Coran offered, “Your feelings of loss also need to be addressed Allura.  For you, the loss is still causing you to reel because for you and I, everything happened recently.  We have never grieved.  Not really.”</p>
<p>     “I-I never thought of that,” Lance stuttered, feeling his heart pang for the Alteans, “It must feel like just yesterday that your father and people…I’m so sorry, Allura.  I should not have called you what I did.”</p>
<p>     “You had every right to be angered,” Allura grumbled, pouting slightly, “I’ve been just horrible to you, Lance.  My father loved all races and all types of people and I’ve been trying to put you in a box and then disrespected you for not being exactly like me.  You, nor anyone else, has to be like me.  I am not so perfect as I’ve been acting.  I am so sorry for my grievous mistakes.  Can you ever forgive me?”</p>
<p>     “I…” Lance began as the other waited with bated breathes, “I think so.  I am still hurt by my treatment and it is hard to hear your words and not feel doubts.  It is only fair that I give you all a second chance.  I remember what you all asked.  To stay and help this team heal.”</p>
<p>     “No, to help all of us be better people,” Hunk reminded, “To help us grow as even you continue to grow so our team is stronger for it.  None of us are perfect and we shouldn’t have been acting as if you need to be either.  We need you here with us to be the family we should have been from the beginning.”</p>
<p>     “Family?” Lance murmured, squeezing Piggie in his fist, “I miss mine so much.”</p>
<p>     “I know, Buddy,” Hunk murmured, reaching to push some hair from Lance’s eyes, “That’s why we need to build our family unit here until we can get you home.”</p>
<p>     “This is what we all needed to do long ago,” Shiro pointed out as Lance’s eyes slid to him, “We need to be honest with one another.  Accept that we are flawed and have our differences.  Share our feelings, good or bad.  Not ignore one another even if the topic is uncomfortable or awkward.  Will you stay and help us with that, Lance?  We need you and your honesty.”</p>
<p>     Lance hummed as he glanced up at the ceiling.</p>
<p>      “I want to believe you, Shiro.  It is hard now.  I don’t know what to believe.”</p>
<p>      “I know, Lance.  That is my fault, but I think we can help you heal because that is all we want.  Not Voltron.  Not this crusade.  You, healthy and whole again.  That is all we need to be happy.”</p>
<p>     Lance looked at all the hopeful faces turned his way.  That’s what his team needed to be happy?  Sneaky devils the lot of them.</p>
<p>     “You are playing me,” Lance sniffed as faces fell, “Good play.  I want you all happy too so I’ll try.  I can’t promise that I can stay, but I’ll try.  I don’t want trust issues.  I want the pain to go away.  I hate feeling numb.  I’ll do my best.”</p>
<p>     Lance stopped as he coughed lightly while the room brightened at the grins sent his way.</p>
<p>     “You have always done your best,” Shiro insisted, reaching to place a hand on Lance’s shoulder, “Now the rest of us have to do the same.  We will do more bonding exercises.  Not just to rely on one another, but to really get to know our team.  Help you relearn trust again.  Help me learn to be a better leader.  Now, you need food.  You never answered Coran.  Will you promise to eat regularly?  You are malnourished.”</p>
<p>     “I promise,” Lance breathed looking at a relieved Coran, “It’s just that I’m really tired and don’t feel like eating.”</p>
<p>     “Lack of eating leads to lack of energy.  Eating first and then sleep,” Hunk insisted, standing, “I’ve got some broth simmering that will be a good first meal after getting out of the pod.  I’ll be right back.”</p>
<p>     Lance blinked at being fed and then tucked into bed with Pidge cuddling up close to his side looking as exhausted as he felt.</p>
<p>     “I’ve missed you,” Pidge whispered, nodding off quickly once the room cleared so Lance could sleep.</p>
<p>     “I know you’re there,” Lance called as Keith stepped from the shadows while he kept his voice down for Pidge’s sake.</p>
<p>To be continued…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Where do we go from here?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>     Lance blinked at being fed and then tucked into bed with Pidge cuddling up close to his side looking as exhausted as he felt.</p>
<p>     “I’ve missed you,” Pidge whispered, nodding off quickly once the room cleared so Lance could sleep.</p>
<p>     “I know you’re there,” Lance called as Keith stepped from the shadows while he kept his voice down for Pidge’s sake, “Thank you for rescuing Piggie from my jacket.  I don’t want anything to happen to him since he is so important to you.  I think you can take him back now, Keith.”</p>
<p>     Lance blinked at having his fingers curled back over the keychain by Keith as he held the hippo out to the red paladin.</p>
<p>     “You give Piggie back to me when you feel you can trust us,” Keith insisted as Lance looked at him in surprise, “That way I know that you feel safe again and don’t need Piggie’s comfort, okay?”</p>
<p>     Lance studied Keith’s eyes and saw only earnestness.  Smiling softly, Lance withdrew his hand to hold Piggie close.</p>
<p>     “Okay.”</p>
<p>     Lance didn’t remember a lot after that.  Unfortunately, his fever rose considerably, but he was never alone as his team took turns to watch over him and keep cool cloths on his forehead until the illness ran its course.</p>
<p>     “I think perhaps your treatment over the last phoebs have led to you weakening your immune system,” Coran lightly fussed as Lance grimaced while the advisor wiped his face with a wet cloth, “The last I did this was when Allura was a little thing.”</p>
<p>    “So, even Alteans get sick?” Lance asked as Coran chuckled.</p>
<p>     “Yes, we get the usual jiggly-nits or tummy-wobbles,” Coran spoke as Lance grinned softly at him, “I don’t want to see you worry yourself down like this again, Number 3.  Shiro has promised me that this team will work on better communication.  I could have stepped in for you sooner, Lance.”</p>
<p>     “I know you would have,” Lance sighed, nodding, “It’s just…I wanted the team to see what was happening without someone having to point out the truth.  I think…I think that maybe that was a bit unfair to everyone else too, Coran.  I wasn’t being honest with the team that my feelings were being hurt.”</p>
<p>     “And that is why you are giving them this second chance?” Coran pushed as Lance smiled up at him, “Good show, Number 3.  You are kind and I think the team will grow stronger with time, but I want full truth from now on.  Something hurts you, tell me.  I’ll handle it, my boy.  Promise?”</p>
<p>     “Promise,” Lance agreed easily as Coran beamed at him.</p>
<p>     Lance was watched over carefully when his fever spiked hard, but his illness slowly improved as he ate and rested better than he had in a long time.  A movement later, Lance was able to move about on his own without his guards watching over him.  He had appreciated the intent, but chafed at the constant watching.  Felt like being the exhibit in a zoo. </p>
<p>
  <em>     “You snub-nosed, borfer rat!!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>     “Pedophile!  Bastard!”</em>
</p>
<p>     Lance blinked at the bellows.  What in the world?  The blue paladin hurried towards the control room he’d been heading towards as Hunk peeked out a nearby door and then followed his friend.  The bellows grew louder the closer the two got to the control room.  What was going on?</p>
<p>     “That’s Coran’s and Pidge’s yells,” Hunk supplied as he entered the control room behind the blue paladin and ran into Lance’s back as the teen froze, “Lance?”</p>
<p>     “King Nazgin,” Lance whispered, paling as a humanoid man looked cowed as Coran and Pidge continued ranting at him over the main screen in the control room.</p>
<p>     “You <em>bitch</em>!” Hunk snarled, stomping up beside Coran as Shiro whirled and noticed Lance, “You’re the ass that tried to touch my best friend!  You better be glad that you are over a screen and not here or I’d wrap my hands around your throat, Pig!”</p>
<p>     “And then I’d slit it open with my knife,” Keith spat, looking livid, “Who the hell gave you the audacity to even <em>think</em> of touching our teammate?”</p>
<p>     “Lance,” Shiro said, hurrying over to the swaying teen, “Let’s sit down.  Come on.  You’re going to pass out.  Whoa, hold on there.”</p>
<p>     “I’ve got him,” Lance heard Allura say as he was manhandled over to one of the control room chairs, “He’s panicking, Shiro.”</p>
<p>     “Breathe, Lance,” Shiro urged, kneeling and taking each of the teen’s hands as Lance looked at him as the teen panted harshly, “Your safe.  Your team has got this.  Just breathe.  Breathe for me.  That’s it.  Breathe, Lance.”</p>
<p>     “Trying,” Lance gasped out as Shiro nodded.</p>
<p>     “I know,” Shiro assured, squeezing Lance’s hands gently, “Deep breath in.  Good.  Deep breath out.  Keep it up.  Good, Lance.”</p>
<p>     Lance nodded softly as he continued to try and regulate his breathing and deal with the panic attack.  The flooding of his emotions at seeing the man who had tormented him for such a short amount of time surprised him.</p>
<p>     “I am so sorry, Lance,” Allura groaned, placing a hand on the teen’s shoulder, “You should not be in this position.  I could kick myself for allowing you to go through this trauma.”</p>
<p>     “I’m…it’s okay,” Lance tried, shaking his head at Allura, “I’ll be fine.”</p>
<p>     “I cannot apologize enough,” a woman’s voice rang out as Lance glanced up to see a regal looking woman shove the king to the side quite harshly which surprised the teen, “Princess Allura, I thought I could trust my cretin of a husband to do right by our people and the alliance.  He purposely misled you into signing that bogus peace accord with cleverly disguised wording to get ahold of your paladin.”</p>
<p>     “I understand, Queen Narti,” Allura acknowledged, “However, as you can see your husband’s handling of our agreement has caused much harm to one of my paladins.” </p>
<p>     “Yes,” the queen sighed, fretting her hands together, “I can see that.  I am so sorry.”</p>
<p>     “I cannot speak for my paladin, but I am a little shocked that you keep to the ways of nazveils,” Allura frowned out as Queen Narti drew herself up indignantly.</p>
<p>     “We do <em>not</em>,” the queen denied as the other paladins gathered to shield Lance while Hunk bent to rub the teen’s back soothingly, “I was needed by my mother and could not be there for the accord.  I have been searching high and low for your ship to force this <em>masnageil</em> to admit his wrongdoings.  My world has not had concubines for longer than the Galra took power.”</p>
<p>     “I see,” Allura hummed, looking thoughtful.</p>
<p>     ‘I am so embarrassed and apologetic for the harm done to the blue paladin,” Queen Narti continued, “I had no idea that he was a mere child.”</p>
<p>     “What?” Pidge squawked before Allura hushed her gently.</p>
<p>     “Pidge, the Herwin live for what your race call millenia,” Allura explained as Pidge stopped bristling, “Even Coran and I are seen as barely adults.”</p>
<p>     The paladins looked at one another in question before the red paladin narrowed his eyes in anger.</p>
<p>     “So, he wanted to touch a child?” Keith snarled, grimacing at the idea, “Good call with calling the man a pedophile, Pidge.”</p>
<p>     The green paladin snorted in disgust as she nodded at Keith’s words.</p>
<p>     “Pedophile,” the queen repeated, “One who does inappropriate things with ones too naïve to make decisions on their own?  A youth?”</p>
<p>     “Certainly,” Coran nodded out as the queen also narrowed her eyes to something off the screen which must have been the king, “Punishable on your planet if I remember correctly, right, your Majesty?”</p>
<p>     “Absolutely,” Queen Narti agreed, “My husband and the scum guards will be put on trial for this crime against your paladin.  The servants had no choice, but to follow my husband’s wishes so they will not be punished.  Nazgin is king no more for his disgusting misuse of power and the very idea of touching that child.”</p>
<p>     “I am not a child,” Lance croaked as eyes landed on him, “I mean…I’m not a millenia old or anything, but I was old enough to tell that man ‘no.’  He threw me against a wall when I wouldn’t let him touch me.  Does that happen to others on Herwi?”</p>
<p>     “I will slice off heads if they try,” the lady bit out angrily, “Younglings are sacred on my planet, Child.  You are very much still just a boy to me despite your bravery.  Are you healed from what my husband did to you?”</p>
<p>     Lance blushed and looked away as Shiro grimaced.</p>
<p>     “Physically, Queen Narti,” Shiro said, standing to shield Lance, “Not mentally.  Not yet.”</p>
<p>     “As would be expected for anyone, youth or adult, who suffered at the hands of filth like my soon to be ex-husband.  Nazgin, you are going to see a cell for many, many millenia of moons,” the queen hissed as the king cowered on the floor, guarded by armored men, “I am so sorry for your treatment and the repercussions you still suffer with thanks to this misbegotten cullerwhomp, Blue Paladin.”</p>
<p>     Lance glanced around Shiro and nodded before ducking out of sight.  This was overwhelming right now.</p>
<p>     “Our treaty is this, Princess Allura,” Queen Narti continued, “Herwi will be there anytime Voltron calls.  We fully support the alliance and will offer any political power or resources you need at any time to show we joined in good faith.  My people and I very much agree with your cause.  Be at peace that Herwi will be there when you face off with Zarkon.”</p>
<p>     “Thank you, Queen Narti,” Allura beamed out as the lady nodded at her.</p>
<p>     “Blue Paladin, you have my complete support in anything you need from Herwi, at any time, to show my acknowledgement of the wrong that was done to you.  I hope one day you can come visit us again under better circumstances for my people truly enjoyed your visit and were very upset to hear of your mistreatment at the hands of someone like Nazgin.”</p>
<p>     Lance swallowed and turned to reach for Hunk as his best friend hugged him close so he could bury his face against the larger man’s shoulder.</p>
<p>     “Thank you,” Shiro answered for Lance, “The blue paladin does acknowledge the kind offer of yours, but he is still emotionally hurting right now.  Please do not judge him for feeling overwhelmed.  Right now, Herwi is a place that has bad memories for, Lance.”</p>
<p>     “As it would for anyone put through what he endured,” the queen sighed, “I am frustrated that a place I love has brought such pain to another.  I am sorry, Lance.”</p>
<p>     “Thank you,” Lance offered, standing with Hunk’s help, “I…it was enjoyable to meet your people, Queen Narti.  Your planet is beautiful.  I just…it’s <em>him</em> not you.  I just can’t with <em>him</em> there.  I can’t.  Hunk, I’m going to be sick.”</p>
<p>     Hunk snatched Lance up against his side and hurried from the room in time for Lance to empty his stomach into a garbage bin in the hallway.</p>
<p>     “I’m sorry,” Lance huffed, leaning against the wall as he sat with his eyes closed.</p>
<p>     “With how many times I’ve yakked, you think I mind?” Hunk asked as he watched Lance chuckle softly, “I’m sure seeing that man brought up bad memories.  You didn’t say how your ribs got broken.  Is there anything else I need to know before I go and murder that asshole?”</p>
<p>     “No,” Lance denied before jumping as Keith slid up to sit beside him.</p>
<p>     “You said he didn’t touch you like that,” Keith accused as Lance froze, “Sounds like he tried.”</p>
<p>     “He tried,” Lance agreed, “But I fought him off and he threw me because the Herwin are damn strong.  Then the servants told the king that they needed to get me ready for the wedding ceremony so he just taunted me.  Told me his vile ideas of what he was going to do to me with Allura’s permission.  I’m going to be sick again.”</p>
<p>     Hunk held his bangs back as Lance heaved into the same garbage bin while Keith rubbed Lance’s back.</p>
<p>     “Big baby I am to get sick over a memory,” Lance groaned, sitting back as he panted softly once he was done purging.</p>
<p>     “Had a foster dad try to touch me once,” Keith blurted as Lance and Hunk gasped, “Shiro laid the man out.  It is why Shiro is so protective with me.  I became his little brother, anger issues and all.”</p>
<p>     “Oh,” Lance breathed, looking at Keith, “He-he laid Nazgin out too.  I just remembered that.  Shiro punched him into a wall and threw me over his shoulder after cutting the cuffs off my wrists with his Galra arm.”</p>
<p>     “And got you to the lions when you kneed me in the groin and took off in Blue, screaming <em>a lot</em>.  I had no idea what you were yelling at me because the whole thing was in Spanish.”</p>
<p>     Lance blinked as Shiro sat in front of him with a sad expression.</p>
<p>     “You had the same look on your face when you were looking at that bastard that I saw on Keith’s when I discovered his foster dad…I got that man’s license revoked and arrested for what he did.  I was lucky I didn’t get carted off for losing my temper,” Shiro huffed, rubbing his face with his non-metal hand, “Keith came to live with me and my parents.  I do favor him because he became my brother.”</p>
<p>     “Oh,” Lance said again, looking to Keith, “I’m sorry that happened to you.”</p>
<p>     “I lived,” Keith retorted before pausing as Lance frowned darkly, looking thoughtful, “I got counseling.  I got over it with time.  Shiro helped a lot.”</p>
<p>     “I can help you, if you’d let me,” Shiro stated as Lance looked to him, “You became my little brother too.  One that I will always protect as much as I have Keith.  The same goes for the rest of the team.  I needed to see everyone as family instead of my little brother and the rest of you.  It breeds division and mixed intentions.”</p>
<p>     “Yeah, it does,” Lance agreed before looking up as a smirking Pidge gleefully exited the control room, “Uh-oh.  I know that look.”</p>
<p>     “Queen Narti is a lady,” Pidge hummed, looking smug, “She is going to allow me to pipe soothing music into that bastard’s cell.  Don’t start with me, Shiro.”</p>
<p>     The black paladin merely shrugged, not looking offended in the least.</p>
<p>     “’The Song That Never Ends?’” Lance laughed as Pidge beamed, “Truly vile.  Never ending, huh?”</p>
<p>     “Yep and maximum volume.”</p>
<p>     “Throw in a lot of heavy metal guitars to go along with it,” Keith urged as Pidge nodded, looking pleased with the idea, “Shiro, what’s with the look?”</p>
<p>     “I have an idea.  Come on,” Shiro decided, hauling a surprised Lance up and pulling him along the hallway, “Everyone follow me.”</p>
<p>     Lance was confused as he was dragged gently by his hand to a familiar room.  The rest of the team entered the recording booth with confusion as well while Shiro arranged everyone in a huddle and hit record.</p>
<p>     “Hello.  I am Shiro and I fly the black lion for Voltron.  I have these brave men and women behind me to thank for not only saving my life, but giving me a new family and reason to fight,” Shiro began as Lance gasped, “I am learning to be a better person, fighter, and leader because of this family.  I have made terrible mistakes and lapses in judgement, but my team are helping me learn to grow and be the leader that they deserve.  These are my younger brothers Keith, Lance, and Hunk.  Sorry, Matt, but you have to share now because this is my little sister, Pidge.  She has very sharp teeth when she is pissed.”</p>
<p>     Pidge laughed as the rest of the team grinned at her. </p>
<p>     “My family also includes a space uncle named Coran and space princess named Allura.  We are not a conventional set of soldiers, but we are the perfect family because we learn from one another and will do anything for the others.  I once said I was kind of like a space uncle, but I firmly claim space big brother because I will do whatever it takes to keep my team safe.  I will never let them down because I nearly did and do not want to feel like such a failure again.  This universe needs Voltron, but I need my new family more.  Together, we are stronger because together we will overcome anything.  We are Voltron and I’m getting <em>really</em> cheesy here.  Anyway, if anyone sees this from the actual families of my teammates, know that I will get your loved ones home and please may Lance’s mother not kill me with a slipper when we get back to Earth.  I actually fear for my life.  Signing off.”</p>
<p>     Lance burst into laughter with the rest of the team howling beside him.  Shiro laughed too while Allura and Coran peeked into the room.</p>
<p>     “I recorded that over the original message,” Shiro spoke up after the laughter died down, “I never want anyone to see the bull I recorded before.  This still is just one step in helping you learn to trust me again, Lance, but I hope it helps if even just a little.”</p>
<p>     Lance sighed as he looked down before nodding.  It helped.  He wasn’t fully ready to open up yet, but it felt good to feel the others trying so hard to reach out in small ways.  An arm pulled him against Hunk’s side as the group dispersed. </p>
<p>     Time ticked.  Lance healed slowly.  Once day he was able to slip into the common room and snuggle against Hunk’s side during a movie night as his best friend beamed at the rest of the team over his head.  Training with Keith became something…unusual.  It was challenging and laughable as they squabbled at one another.  Pidge dragged Lance over whenever she worked with Hunk and called them “Team Plunk” much to Lance’s amusement.  Lance was given the right to offer suggestions in meetings by Allura without being ridiculed and had good ideas…sometimes.</p>
<p>     Shiro.  Shiro just stayed steady and firm whenever Lance needed him.  Pointed out ways for Lance to improve gently and in the right way.  Together, Allura and Shiro worked to become a shield for the team and Lance had to admit that the two were working hard to lead with compassion.  Lance began to forgive the princess her mistakes and the fluttery crush rose up each time she looked his way once again. </p>
<p>     Lance slowly began to open back up to Shiro.  Began feeling the sense of awe he used to feel about a man that was still his hero despite his misspoken words from the past.  This was the Shiro Lance remembered from the Garrison.  The very hero that pushed others to improve themselves with hard work and focus.  Many phoebs later, Lance tossed Keith Piggie and just smiled as Keith smirked at him as he placed the keychain into his pocket.</p>
<p>     “Thanks, Mullet.”</p>
<p>     “Anytime.”</p>
<p>     Today was a good day to begin again in the right way.</p>
<p>To be continued…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="MsoNormal">     Humming softly to himself, Lance glanced up at the stars as he leaned against a tree that overlooked the farm.  Peace permeated the air before soft footsteps traveled to Lance’s ears.  Turning, Lance expected a member of his family, not who he saw.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “Shiro?” Lance questioned with a thrill running though him as his friend gave him a smile, “It has been so <em>long</em>!  What are you doing here?  How did you get the Garrison to let you come?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     Lance grinned brightly at seeing Shiro looking so much better.  It was like seeing the Shiro of old…just with silver hair and a fancy arm, but he seemed like he was doing well.  The image left Lance feeling warm.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “Wore the Garrison down.  Told them I had to come ask you an important question,” Shiro chuckled, coming over to settle next to Lance.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     Uh-oh.  Lance didn’t like where this was heading.  The same argument of old from that establishment.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “I’m not…the Garrison isn’t the right place for me,” Lance began, looking away guiltily before looking at his former leader in question as Shiro laughed brightly.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “No, the Garrison does not deserve a person with your heart,” Shiro agreed, knocking Lance’s chin gently as the younger man smiled, “I’m not here to try and twist your arm to return to a world that you feel you don’t belong to, Lance.  You look good here.  I like the Lance I’m seeing again.  You were so lost after…Allura.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     Lance grimaced and nodded as he looked over his field of flowers.  Lost was a good word.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “Yeah.  Coming to terms with her loss has been hard,” Lance sighed, looking to his flowers intently, “Made me realize that I just…I wasn’t a good soldier.  I can’t just turn off my emotions and follow orders.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “You are a better soldier than most because you care so much,” Shiro argued gently as Lance flashed him a smile, “However, I know how hard it is to emotionally be a soldier.  The toll can be too much and I like that you are here and not ripping yourself in two anymore.  Plus, you were not the best at following orders at times.  Allura and I knew that.  You could see the bigger picture more clearly than the rest of us sometimes and reacted to your feelings.  She’d be proud of you, Lance.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “Thank you.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “I didn’t come to dredge up painful memories,” Shiro admitted, frowning before smiling softly as Lance patted a nearby kneecap.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “You didn’t.  I like remembering Allura.  She wouldn’t want me to stop living so I’m going to live for the both of us,” Lance insisted as Shiro grinned at him with a nod and look of pride, “So, what is the question you have for me, Captain?”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “Oh, <em>not</em> the rank.  I get enough of that at the Garrison,” Shiro fussed as Lance grinned back at him, “Well…I…I took your advice.  I finally asked Curtis to marry me, Lance, and he said ‘yes.’”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “Seriously?” Lance beamed as Shiro blushed, “Congratulations!”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “So, there will be a wedding and of course my team has to be there, but I need something special from you,” Shiro continued as Lance listened, “I need you to be one of my best men.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “What?  Me?” Lance gasped as Shiro nodded.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “Yes, you,” Shiro laughed with a blush, “You and Keith will be my best men and Hunk agreed to be the caterer since he won’t be here soon enough to assist in planning the wedding.  I need you two.  The two that gave me a purpose to my life.  Keith who needed me as an older brother sooner than you did.  You, for reminding me that I needed to look further and for showing me that I needed to live up to the title of ‘hero.’”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “You live up to that title naturally,” Lance reminded as Shiro huffed softly. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “No.  A person can lead or having amazing abilities and still not be a person worthy to look up to,” Shiro stated firmly, “I was floundering a bit at first with our team, Little Brother, but you helped me become the person who deserves my own happy ending.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “What?” Lance breathed as Shiro smiled.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “Thank you for being exactly who you are and helping me see to look and not judge so quickly,” Shiro pushed as Lance gazed at him in surprise, “I like who I am now and owe that to you and the rest of the team.  I need all my little brothers and my little sister by my side at my wedding.  Unless joining me on that day will cause you pain, it would be my honor to have you there, Lance.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.  Any world,” Lance promised as Shiro beamed at him, “Thank you for being a part of my family.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “And thank you for allowing me to be a part of yours and learning to trust me again,” Shiro offered as Lance wiped a tear away, “Thank you for being open to allowing me to be a person deserving of your love, or anyone else’s.  Want to be there when I ask Pidge to be my flower person just to rile her up?  I actually want her to be one of my ‘bests’ at the wedding too if she is agreeable.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “Hell yeah,” Lance snickered as Shiro laughed, “Come.  Let’s let the rest of my family know, Shiro.  This is cause for <em>celebration</em>.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     Shiro snorted as Lance dragged him up and sprinted down the hill yelling out Spanish phrases towards the family home.  The former leader of Voltron glanced up to the stars that twinkled softly back at him.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     “He’s home, Allura,” Shiro whispered, “Lance is home and still healing from losing you, but he is safe and no longer has trust issues.  I will make sure that never changes for him or the rest of our family.”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">     And he did.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The end.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
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